Searching for an end to gender-based violence

Monthly searches: 40950

Answered by Lila M, Victoria R, and Possibility Seeds

Generally, a relationship is considered abusive when one or more types of violence (i.e., physical, sexual, emotional, financial, etc.) are happening. Abusive relationships can take many forms: they might start out healthy, with abusive behaviours appearing or getting worse as time goes on. The abuse might happen every day or only when one partner is in a bad mood. There may be lots of physical violence, or a partner may use words or feelings to control the other person. No matter what an abusive relationship looks like, it's never okay.

Some common forms of abuse in a relationship can include:

• Any form of physical violence, like hitting, choking, or kicking. This includes threats of violence made towards you, others, or your property. Physical violence doesn't need to leave a bruise or cut to be taken seriously.
• Any type of sexual violence, which includes any unwanted sexual acts you are forced or coerced into doing. This can be anything from unwanted kissing or touching to unwanted sexual intercourse (i.e., rape). It can also involve removing a condom without consent (i.e., stealthing) or not stopping sexual activities if you change your mind.
• Any kind of emotional violence, including words or actions that are meant to control or frighten you or hurt your self-esteem. Signs of emotional violence can involve yelling, insults, constant criticism, blame, or accusations of cheating.
• Any form of financial violence, like controlling or misusing your money or property. They may make all the household decisions, prevent you from having a bank account or credit card, or keep your money from you. They may also intentionally cause you to lose your job or miss school.

If you are experiencing any of the above behaviours or similar actions in your relationship, it is highly likely that the relationship is abusive. If this is the case, remember:

• You are not alone.
• Abuse is never the fault of the victim or survivor.
• Abuse is not "normal" or "to be expected" in any relationship.
• You do not have to keep this abuse a secret or protect your abuser.
• Physical assault, sexual assault, and harassment are crimes.

If you have been subjected to abuse in any of your relationships, consider reaching out to a mental health professional, a counsellor, or an adult that you trust.

Your safety and well-being are the biggest priority, and seeking help is a critical step toward addressing the situation.

Monthly searches: 26,250

Answer from Sophie A and Possibility Seeds

Being groped in public can be an incredibly difficult and traumatic experience. It's important to know that what the person who groped you did was wrong, and it wasn't your fault. There are many ways to get help with an experience like this, and there is no wrong way to approach it. You might consider:

• Sharing your experience with a trusted friend or family member: Telling someone you love about what happened can be a meaningful way to get the support you need. Be clear about what you need from them, whether that's advice, a hug, or just a listening ear.
• Connecting with services in your community: There are many services across the country that can help you cope and connect with the resources you need through an experience like this. You could try reaching out to your local sexual assault centre or sharing the experience with someone at a local youth or community group.
• Reporting the incident: If it feels right, you might consider reporting the incident to the police or to security at the place where the incident occurred. It's important to know that reporting to authorities is not everyone's vision of justice, and you don't have to report if you don't want to. Your own safety and healing are what's most important. If you want to report and aren't sure how, consider asking a trusted adult for help with this.

It's important to find refuge in a safe environment with people you know will be consoling, non-judgemental, and supportive. It's also important to be in a physically safe space, meaning one where no further objectification and non-consensual contact may take place. You are not to blame for the acts that other people commit against you. You deserve safety.

Monthly searches: 15,810

Answered by Jaden M, Andre H, and White Ribbon

Verbal abuse has no place in relationships; whether your partner is angry or not, projecting anger and making insults is not a sign of a healthy relationship. Nobody should feel like they're constantly walking on eggshells within their relationship, and it is important to feel safe and respected.

If your partner is not communicating in healthy and respectful ways, here are some things you can do to acknowledge what's happening and get support for yourself:

• Recognize the abuse: Recognizing that what is being said is harmful is a good first step; it shows that you know how you would like to be treated. Sometimes, we can fall into simply accepting the insults. However, it's important to acknowledge that insults and yelling are forms of verbal abuse.
• Prioritize your safety: Verbal abuse can sometimes be minimized because the harm might not be as apparent, but it's important to recognize that the emotional and mental harm of verbal abuse can leave lasting impacts and can lead to depression and self-blame.
• Set boundaries: It's important to set boundaries when finding solutions for the harm. Sometimes, our partners have to work on how they communicate because they, too, were harmed. Setting clear boundaries is good way to meet your partner where they are. Let them know how their abusive behaviour makes you feel, that it is not acceptable, and that you will not tolerate it.
• Get support: Speaking to someone you trust can offer a space to express how you've been feeling and an opportunity to get support. Reach out to friends, family members, or a professional counsellor.
• Consider professional help: Individual or couples therapy can be valuable in addressing the underlying issues contributing to the verbal abuse.
• Develop a safety plan: If you decide to leave the relationship, create a safety plan that outlines steps to protect yourself. This may involve seeking legal advice, finding a safe place to stay, or identifying a support network.
• Document the abuse: Keep a record of instances of verbal abuse, including dates, times, and details of what was said. This documentation can be helpful if legal action or intervention becomes necessary.

Along with these steps, make sure that you're prioritizing self-care. Surround yourself with positive influences and engage in practices that promote your mental and emotional well-being.

Monthly searches: 13,720

Answered by Alyssa S and We Worthy Women

If you are in an abusive relationship, know that you are not alone. Resources are available to help you in two ways: to help you leave the relationship or to provide you with support if you're not ready yet.

If you're looking to leave: Provincial and territorial helplines are available to help you find resources within your region. They can help connect you to transitional housing, which provides shelter, support, and assistance to help you leave an unsafe situation. Staff members at transition houses can make sure you're safe, provide counselling, and help you get referrals to other services or emergency housing. Even if you're not staying in a transition house, their staff can help you create a safety plan so you can leave an abusive relationship quickly and safely when you're ready.

Find a list of provincial and territorial resources online.

If you're looking for support: Provincial, territorial, and national helplines are there to provide – often 24/7 – emotional support for any problem you're dealing with, including abuse. These helplines include:

• Kids Help Phone (1-800-668-6868)
• Indigenous Hope for Wellness Hotline (1-855-242-3310)
• Trans Lifeline (1-822-900-1010)

You can also get support through therapeutic counselling. By contacting a helpline or transition house or speaking to a healthcare provider, you can receive referrals to counsellors with experience in supporting people in abusive relationships.

Whatever you decide to do, and whether you're ready to leave the relationship or not, is your choice. But remember: You are always deserving of respect and safety.

Monthly searches: 11,500

Answer from Ganiyat S, Platform, Emily T, and Possibility Seeds

Someone threatening to share intimate pictures of you can be scary, but it's important to remember that it's not your fault. They're the ones in the wrong. The non-consensual sharing of intimate images isn't just wrong; it's illegal and should be taken very seriously. Here are some actions you can take to address it:

• Do not give in to their threats. They may be asking for payment or additional sexual pictures of videos. If you give in, they will likely continue asking for more and more.
• Note the usernames of the person who is threatening to share sexual pictures of you online. Keep detailed records of what's happening.
• Document everything. Screenshot and keep a copy of any messages of them threatening the release of these pictures and videos.
• Do not keep contacting the person and stay calm. Know that you have nothing to gain from reacting to their threats. Your reaction is what they wanted in the first place, and by giving in to their demands, you could be endangering yourself even further.
• Reach out for help. Talk to a trusted adult such as a family member, a teacher, or a community member.
• Report the interactions to the social media platform on which they're happening. Most social platforms have mechanisms for reporting and blocking users.

If the person follows through and posts the images and videos, remember to look after yourself by reaching out to a trusted adult and prioritizing your mental health. When ready, you can do the following:

• Untag yourself in those photos and report it to the social media platforms to take the images and videos down.
• Visit NeedHelpNow.ca to get support to remove the images and videos.
• You can also report the case to Google so they can delete the images and videos.
• You might also consider reaching out to your local police, as it is a crime to share intimate photos and videos of someone without their consent.

Even if you have shared these intimate images, it's never your fault when someone threatens to share, or does share, your intimate images without consent. It's not only a violation of trust, but also illegal. You are not alone. There are resources to help you regain control and keep yourself safe.

Monthly searches: 9,760

Answer from Avril H and Platform

Dealing with a partner who gaslights you can be emotionally challenging and harmful to your well-being. Gaslighting is a form of emotional manipulation where someone tries to make you doubt your own thoughts, feelings, and perceptions. Here are some steps you can take to address this behaviour:

• Recognize the signs: Educate yourself about gaslighting and its tactics to understand when it's happening.
• Trust your instincts: If something doesn't feel right or you feel like you're being manipulated, don't dismiss those feelings. Remember that your experiences and emotions are valid.
• Communicate your concerns: Talk to your partner about your concerns. Use "I" statements to express how their behaviour makes you feel, e.g., "I feel hurt when you dismiss my feelings."
• Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries for what behaviour is unacceptable in your relationship. Make it clear that gaslighting is not tolerated.
• Seek support and professional help: Reach out to friends, family members, or a therapist for support and validation. Gaslighting can make you feel isolated, so having a support system is essential. If the gaslighting is persistent and is affecting your mental health, consider couples therapy or individual therapy for both you and your partner.
• Document incidents: Keep a journal of instances when your partner gaslights you. This can help you identify patterns and provide evidence if you need it later.
• Evaluate the relationship: Assess whether the relationship is healthy and whether your partner is willing or capable of changing their behaviour. Sometimes, it may be necessary to consider ending the relationship if their behaviour continues and there is no willingness to address it.
• Seek legal advice if necessary: If you are in a situation where gaslighting is part of an abusive relationship, consult with a legal professional or counsellor to explore options for your safety.

Remember that gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse, and it is important to prioritize your own mental and emotional well-being. If your partner is unwilling to change or seeks to escalate the gaslighting, consider seeking help. Your safety and well-being should always come first.

Monthly searches: 8,120

Answer from Alyssa S, We Worthy Women, Ganiyat S, and Platform

Gender-based violence is any act of violence that is perpetrated based on someone's gender, gender expression, gender identity, or perceived gender.

Different forms of gender-based violence include, but are not limited to, the following:

• Physical: can include pushing, hitting, choking, restraining someone, throwing objects, or breaking things.
• Emotional: can include threats, humiliation, insults, and intimidation; controlling behaviour; stalking or cyberstalking; deadnaming someone or denying someone's gender identity; or isolation.
• Sexual: can include any forms of non-consensual sexual touching; removing or tampering with a condom without consent (i.e., stealthing); sexual harassment; or sending or receiving explicit images without consent.
• Financial: can include controlling someone's finances; pressuring or blackmailing to give money; stealing financial information; or preventing someone from going to work or school.

Here are some ways to practice great allyship and become a leader in preventing gender-based violence.

1. Get informed: Don't be afraid to explore educational resources on gender-based violence and expand your knowledge! The It's Not Just website offers great information. You can also find information from books, documentaries, and community organizations. Consider signing up for a local presentation or training session on consent, sexual and gender-based violence, or bystander intervention.
2. Challenge norms: When you see or hear problematic language or actions in your day-to-day life, practice challenging them! In response to a harmful comment, you might consider saying something like: "That's not cool"; "I don't find those kinds of jokes funny," or "I don't think that's appropriate. Can I explain why?"
3. Get critical: Once you have a good understanding of gender-based violence and what it looks like, you are encouraged to become a critical consumer. In school, you've probably learned about critical thinking and not accepting everything at face value. With this in mind, carefully consider the messages your favourite shows and movies are sending about gender-based violence, relationships, and gender roles. Don't be afraid to ask questions!
4. Educate others: Research tells us that one of the most effective ways to create positive social change is through peer education. When you learn more about gender-based violence, you are able to practice allyship by educating others and spreading important information that will help to change the way society views gender-based violence.
5. Support survivors and victims: One of the most important ways to practice allyship is by supporting survivors of gender-based violence. Show them that you believe them, that you are there to support them, and that you are willing to listen. It can be difficult for victims to share their experiences with others, so your support is valuable! While you should allow them to make their own decisions about accessing other supports and resources, you're more than welcome to offer your support or company if they do choose to take further action.
6. Take action: There are many ways to take action and practice being an ally. You might start or join a club to address gender-based violence; host workshops on gender-based violence, consent, and healthy relationships; attend a march or rally; use your knowledge to share informative social media content with your network; or offer to volunteer your time with a community organization addressing gender-based violence.

We can all play a valuable role in addressing gender-based violence. Though it is a difficult subject to engage in and an overwhelming problem to solve, it's important to remember that any action is better than none.

Monthly searches: 7,760

Answered by Josel G, Victoria R, Possibility Seeds, and Wisdom2Action

Choosing to leave an abusive relationship is an important and often difficult decision to make. There can be lots of complicated feelings involved, including still feeling love towards your partner. You may feel like attempting to leave the relationship is unsafe at this time and even once you've made that decision, actually leaving can feel impossible. But despite the barriers that you are facing, resources and services are available to help you leave the situation safely.

Depending on the type of relationship you're in, there may be different steps to leaving. Here's how you can leave an abusive relationship.

• If you're in a new relationship and feel unsafe, the first thing you should do is create a safety plan. Identify safe places to go and people you can contact if you need help. Next, if possible, gather any evidence of abusive behaviour. This might include texts, emails, photos, or anything else that can support your claims if needed. Then reach out for support: contact family, friends, or a local domestic violence support organization to discuss your situation and explore available resources to find the ones that make you most comfortable.
• If you're in a long-term relationship but don't live together, your first step should be to create a safety plan to lay out safe people you can contact or places you can go if you need help. You may be more financially dependent on your partner than someone in a newer relationship. If this is the case, work towards financial independence by saving money if possible. Find more information about managing your finances.

You should also try to build a support system of friends and family outside your romantic relationship who can help you cope and work through some of the barriers of leaving.

If you fear for your safety when leaving, consider filing a restraining order, protection order, or peace bond against your ex-partner. Talk to someone at your local courthouse for more information.

• If you're married, in a common-law partnership, or living together, creating a safety plan, including finding a safe place to stay if needed, is the first step to leaving. This may include leaning on family, friends, support groups, and community resources to help you navigate the emotional and logistical challenges of leaving, like helping you move out.

Financial challenges can also be a barrier to leaving when you live with your partner. Consider seeking advice on managing money and assets from people in your life or more formal sources like financial advisors during the separation process. Create a budget and explore financial support resources available in your community, such as shelters, assistance programs and financial aid organizations — the YWCA's National Emergency Survivor Support Fund is one. Explore Government of Canada financial supports to see if they apply to you.

• If you have dependents, including children, pets, or other family members, you're going to need to get them to safety too. For children, consult a legal professional about custody arrangements and find a friend or family member who can look after them for a while if needed.

For pets, reach out to local animal shelters or community organizations to find temporary housing if you fear for their safety or are unable to house them during the transition — friends and family may also be able to support you here.

If you're leaving with dependent family members, such as aging parents, be as open as possible with them about the situation and help them explore options for their safety and well-being.

Navigating the barriers to leaving an abusive relationship can be a challenge, but remember that you're not alone — people and resources are here to help. Here are some places to start:

• Canadian Resource Centre for Victims of Crime: Financial Assistance
• Government of Canada: Find family violence resources and services in your area
• Canadian Women's Foundation: Provincial and territorial support services
• Your local YWCA helps women, girls, and families leaving abuse.

If you face any danger during the process of leaving, please call 911.

Monthly searches: 6,840

Answered by Micah K, Marlee L, We Worthy Women, and White Ribbon

There are many ways one person can control another in a relationship. Just like other types of violence, control may be physical, emotional, financial, or sexual. Controlling behaviour can happen in all sorts of relationships, too, like short-term romances, friendships, or family relationships.

Controlling behaviour can sometimes be hard to recognize because it's often normalized – or even romanticized – in the media. In many shows and movies, this kind of unhealthy, possessive, or even aggressive behaviour is presented as a sign of love and affection. But in real life, this is not the case.

Some examples of controlling behaviour include, but aren't limited to:

• Not allowing you to wear certain things, go certain places, or see certain people.
• Denying you access to money or resources.
• Speaking on your behalf.
• Telling you what to do.
• Threatening, coercing, blackmailing, or pressuring you.
• Limiting your diet.
• Isolating you from friends or family.
• Tracking your movements with technology.

If you've been subjected to the above or similar behaviours in your relationship, it may be worth examining whether the relationship feels healthy or not. Talk to your partner about their actions if it feels safe to do so, reach out to family and friends to discuss with them, or contact a helpline like Kids Help Phone if you want to talk it through.

Monthly searches: 6,580

Answer from Ganiyat S, Platform, Victoria R, Possibility Seeds, Andre H, and White Ribbon

Gender-based violence is a form of violence directed at an individual based on their gender, gender expression, gender identity, or perceived gender. This act of violence can be physical, verbal, emotional, or sexual.

Here are some things you can do to help end gender-based violence:

1. Educate yourself: Start by educating yourself about gender-based violence, its causes, and its impact on individuals and communities. Understand the various forms of abuse, such as domestic violence, sexual assault, and harassment and how they impact different people. This can include reading books that discuss gender-based violence, attending events that address issues related to gender-based violence, and listening to individuals who experience gender-based violence.
2. Support local organizations: Research and connect with local organizations that focus on gender-based violence prevention, support, and advocacy.
3. Volunteer: You can volunteer at crisis centres, shelters, hotlines, or community outreach programs by offering your time and skills. Being involved in different communities through volunteering enables you to look at the issue from different perspectives. You can look into local organizations like White Ribbon that focus on gender-based violence prevention and support.
4. Attend workshops and events: These events can enhance your knowledge, connect you with like-minded individuals, and equip you with the necessary tools to advocate for change. Community workshops are an incredible way to teach, learn, and hear powerful stories from your community.
5. Advocate for policy changes: Engage with your local, provincial or territorial, and national governments to advocate for policies that address gender-based violence, such as improved legal protections, funding for support services, and initiatives to promote gender equality.
6. Raise awareness: Use your voice by sharing information online, participating in awareness campaigns, and engaging in conversations with your peers that challenge harmful attitudes and behaviours can make a difference and encourage discussion. If you have a hobby like art, media, or photography, consider using your skills to help raise awareness.
7. Support survivors: If you know someone who has been subjected to gender-based violence, offer them your support and encouragement. Listen to their story without judgement, encourage them to reach out to resources that might be able to help them, and respect their choices throughout their healing process.
8. Be an ally: Support marginalized communities disproportionately affected by gender-based violence. Listen to their experiences, amplify their voices, and stand up against discrimination and prejudice.
9. Speak out: Challenge harmful gender stereotypes and societal norms that contribute to gender-based violence. Encourage discussions that promote equality and respect.

Monthly searches: 6,120

Answered by Micah K and We Worthy Women

If your partner is physically violent towards you, the main priority is your safety. If you need immediate help, call 911. Even if you are unable to speak, do not disconnect the call.

If you do not feel like you're in immediate danger, there are steps you can take to help you leave quickly or stay safely.

• Connect with a friend or family member who you trust to tell them what's happening. They may be able to offer support.
• Create a safety plan that includes names and numbers of people to contact; strategies to address immediate needs like housing, food, and employment; and the location of documents that may be necessary to pursue legal action.
• Visit sheltersafe.ca, which provides information and a clickable map to help connect women and their children across Canada to the nearest shelter for safety and support.
• Connect with a crisis line in your province or territory.
• Call an Uber, Lyft, or taxi and get to a public location where you can call for help.

If your partner is physically abusive towards you, it's important to remember that it's not your fault. Violence is never okay. There are steps you can take to remove yourself from the situation when you're ready.

Monthly searches: 5,680

Answer from Darlen B and White Ribbon

This is a challenging situation and it's important to prioritize your safety and well-being while approaching your partner's anger issues with empathy and understanding. Here are some steps you can take to address this behaviour:

• Communication: Talking about your issues is essential in a relationship; however, it may be harder when your partner has anger issues. Try to approach your partner in a calm and non-confrontational manner and discuss their issues. Try to keep the communication open and offer solutions.
• Setting boundaries: Let your partner know what behaviour is not tolerated in your relationship and what you expect of them. Communicate assertively about what behaviours are unacceptable and let your partner know the consequences if those boundaries are crossed. Prioritize your emotional and physical safety above all else.
• Practice self-care and self-compassion: Take time for activities that bring you joy and relaxation. This might involve hobbies, spending time with supportive friends and family, or seeking therapy for yourself to cope with the emotional load. Remember, it is not your responsibility to fix your partner's anger issues; they need to take responsibility for their own emotions and actions.
• Encourage your partner to seek help: Suggest therapy or counselling, where they can work with a professional to address their anger in a safe and controlled environment.
• Know when to leave: Consider your long-term safety over anything. If your partner is causing an issue to your well-being and does not make any effort to change, consider leaving the relationship.
• Give consequences: People usually do not change their behaviour unless there is a reason. When trying to calm down your partner, show them there are consequences to their actions.
• Keep emergency contacts: In case of physical harm, make sure you have a list of contacts in case of an emergency, such as the authorities, close friends, and relatives.

Remember that your safety matters, and if you ever feel threatened or unsafe, don't hesitate to seek help from a trusted friend, family member, or a local helpline. Your well-being is paramount, and it's okay to distance yourself from a situation that is harmful or dangerous.

Monthly searches: 4,590

Answer from Mahé R, YWCA, Mara D, and GRIS-Montréal

Deadnaming is using the birth name of a person who has changed their name as part of their gender identity and expression.

If a person uses somebody's former name without their consent, it can be a form of aggression towards the person. Deciding not to use their new name (similar to not using their pronouns) is demeaning and disrespectful. To the person being deadnamed, it can feel like you're actively denying their identity and can create an unsafe environment.

The following are actions that normalize deadnaming and are discriminatory towards trans, non-binary, and Two-spirit people:

• Asking someone what their name was in the past.
• Choosing to use their former name after this person has changed their name.
• Communicating their former name with others, whether the person concerned is present or not.

It may take time for loved ones to get used to using the new name, and mistakes will happen. It's important to makean effort to ensure trans, non-binary, and Two-spirit people feel respected. If you mistakenly misgender or deadname someone, simply apologize to the person, continue the conversation, and make renewed efforts in the future.

Monthly searches: 4,340

Answered by Emily T and Possibility Seeds

First of all, we applaud you for recognizing the signs of the abusive relationship and for taking steps to leave the situation. Leaving an abusive relationship isn't easy, and you've already come much further than you may realize.

Here are some things you can do to care for yourself and support your well-being during this time:

• Recognize that you are not alone. People and organizations are here to support you. If you need someone to talk to right now, you can contact Kids Help Phone or a gender-based violence (GBV) support service in your area.
• Keep checking in with how you're feeling. Do things that make you happy and keep taking care of your mental health.
• Reach out to local family violence support centres for extra support. As a starting point, you can visit National Family Violence Services and Resources for more information on services available across Canada.
• If you have mutual friends with the abuser, please make sure that they are not a threat to your safety. Ask yourself, would they reveal your new address to your abuser? If you have any doubts at all, consider cutting communication with these friends and do not give them your new address or work location.
• Keep a copy of all evidence of abuse. You may need this later if you decide to report anything to the police.
• Tell a trusted adult if you feel your safety is at risk. They can help you access additional resources and report your experience to the police if needed.

Your safety comes first, and the people around you should respect this. You deserve not only safety, but also healing. Be gentle with yourself during this time. Healing is not linear, and justice looks different for everyone.

Monthly searches: 3,040

Answer from Niko C, We Worthy Women, Josel G, and Wisdom 2 Action

Belittling or intentional embarrassment is a form of emotional abuse that is incredibly harmful, especially as these comments and acts tend to increase over time. These behaviours can be considered a form of Intimate Partner Violence or Domestic Violence. This form of abuse may be harder to recognize since it may not be as loud or as visible as other types of mistreatment.

Belittling or intentional embarrassment might look like:

• Undermining or trivializing your accomplishments and successes.
• Making comments designed to elicit guilt or shame.
• Being condescending towards you.
• Sharing comments or criticisms that encourage self-doubt and insecurity.

If you feel safe doing so, be honest and upfront with your partner when they say something hurtful. If they haven't behaved this way in the past, it's possible that they didn't intentionally hurt your feelings. If this is a pattern of behaviour that they're exhibiting, explain why their words were hurtful. Make them aware that it is not acceptable behaviour in your relationship. If it feels safe for you to do so, consider setting a boundary with your partner by telling them, "I deserve to be spoken to with respect. If you say things that are belittling or embarrassing, I will make the choice to remove myself from the situation."

If they continue to make these comments, you may end up in a cycle of emotional abuse, at which point you should remove yourself from the situation and access support. If you have an emergency contact, such as a friend or parent that you trust, inform them of your situation. It may also be helpful to identify the type of service and support that you want to participate in. Choose the one that you feel most comfortable with. This can help you decide what to do next in the relationship with your partner.

If you need a safe place to stay, contact women's shelters in your area or find a family member or friend who can help. If you require support services and you're in school, consider contacting services through your school or browse resources available through Courage to Act.

The Government of Canada and Canadian Women's Foundation can provide you with resources and contact information for different types of community and legal support and services that are available nationally and near you. Your local YWCA offers assistance to women, young girls, families, Two-spirit, and gender-diverse people. And if you're a student, your school may also have support services available.

Monthly searches: 3,030

Answer from Marlee L and White Ribbon

Date rape is sexual assault perpetrated by a romantic or potentially romantic partner, friend, or acquaintance. Date rape can occur at any point in the relationship, whether it's the first date or the hundredth date – regardless of how long the victim or survivor has known the perpetrator, rape is never the fault of the victim or survivor. The relationship status between you and another individual does not equate to consent.

Date rape occurs when consent is not given or when the victim or survivor is unable to give consent. In some cases, the victim or survivor may refuse to give consent, or has been coerced, pressured, forced, is unconscious, or drugged.

Remember that going on a date does not equate to consenting to sex or any sexual act. All people have the right to change their minds at any given moment. It is always important to check in and respect other people's boundaries and limits.

If you believe you have been date raped, you deserve support and care. Survivors deserve to be believed and treated compassionately regardless of their relationship to their perpetrator.

If you believe you were drugged and raped, seek medical care. Call a trusted friend, family member, or loved one to take you to a hospital emergency room as soon as you can, if possible. The nurses or doctors will be able to take any required samples to test for date rape drugs or signs of rape upon your visit.

Remember that being drunk or intoxicated does not equate to consent. Being under the influence does not mean that it was your fault.

Many incredible organizations and crisis lines exist to support survivors who were raped or are questioning if rape happened. These organizations can also help direct you to local resources so you can get the support and care you deserve.

Monthly searches: 2,230

Answer from Rhoda N, Possibility Seeds, Andre H, and White Ribbon

You may be confused or anxious if your partner tries to control who you get to see, especially if it's affecting your time with your loved ones. If you feel safe doing so, have a conversation with your partner. Ask them where their discomfort is coming from and try to address any underlying issues your partner might have within your relationship. Assure your partner that their jealousy doesn't mean you love them any less and that spending time with your loved ones doesn't diminish your feelings for your partner. You should not feel like a "bad person" for spending time with friends and family. This conversation is a good opportunity to share your feelings about their behaviour and how it makes you feel. You should also establish clear boundaries and expectations about spending time with friends and family.

It may also help to involve your partner in activities with your friends and family so they can see that your relationships are platonic and inclusive. Engaging in trust-building activities like having open and honest conversations, participating in couples therapy, or joining other activities that foster trust may also help alleviate their jealousy.

If you feel unsafe or if your boundaries are being disrespected, contact a trusted family member or friend to seek support. You can also access professional or community support for resources and tactics for navigating healthy relationships.

Monthly searches: 2,200

Answered by Micah K and We Worthy Women

It's hard to find out that someone you love is, or was, in an abusive relationship. It's only natural that you would want to help them cope with, leave, or move on from this relationship. However, some things we may think are helpful can feel the opposite to someone who is experiencing or has experienced gender-based violence.

Here are some things you should do when supporting someone in an abusive relationship:

• Believe them. Don't ask them if they're sure the abuse happened.
• Remind them it's not their fault. Abuse is the fault of the abuser 100% of the time, even if the victim or survivor has been made to feel otherwise.
• Support them. You may not understand what they're going through, but you can always stand by them. Be there when they turn to you to listen, give advice, or even just a hug. If the situation is too complicated or triggering for you to offer support, help connect them with someone who can support them. There may be times when you feel helpless but know that just being there for your loved one reminds them that they're not alone.
• Check in often. Ask them how they are and what they've been up to lately. Consider having a day out together. Ask them if they want to talk about what's happened, but don't force them — they'll open up when they're ready.
• Never tell them they should "just leave". Leaving an abusive relationship is not as easy as just walking out the door. In many cases, people in abusive relationships need to prepare things before leaving, like getting their finances in order, finding a safe place to stay, or collecting records of the abuse.
• Invite them to stay with you if you can. Finding a safe place to live while they sort things out is a common barrier to leaving an abusive relationship.
• Connect them to resources in their area that support domestic violence victims and survivors, like shelters, helplines, legal and financial support, or counsellors and therapists.
• Help them create a safety plan. Leaving an abusive relationship is easier when it's planned out. You can use this tool to make sure all the important questions are covered.

Ultimately, the decision to leave an abusive relationship is up to the victim or survivor, but that doesn't mean there's nothing you can do for them. Just being a friend and letting your loved one know you have their back can be a huge help in their healing journey.

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Answer from Sophie A and Possibility Seeds

It's totally normal to feel any number of emotions about your ex's behaviour, including concern, fear, and anger. Any form of stalking behaviour, including online, is a violation of your rights. It's wrong, and in some cases, it's also illegal. You should always have the right to protect your privacy. Know that what is happening to you is not your fault. Here are some things you might consider actioning moving forward to protect yourself:

• Build your community: Stalking is a way to exercise power and control over someone, and isolation may increase the power of these tactics. Make sure your friends, family, and loved ones are aware of what's happening and ask for their support. If you're concerned for your safety, you can contact the non-emergency line in your area or seek community support for advice and resources.
• Connect with resources: There are many organizations that can support people who are experiencing stalking. They can provide you with more information on what stalking is, how to address it, and how to keep yourself safe.
• Set boundaries: If you're being harassed online, start by blocking the harasser, their friends, and their family members. You may want to consider changing your phone number as well. Going private on social media can also protect your information from being shared publicly and being shared with the person stalking you. Enabling a private profile will ensure you have control over who follows you. If the harasser continues to make new accounts to follow you, consider telling them that you're uncomfortable with their behaviour if you feel safe doing so.

Stalking can have a tremendous impact on our safety and sense of well-being. You have the right to voice concerns about the way your ex is acting, and you have the right to be safe. Let your friends and family know what's happening and call 911 if you are actively concerned for your safety.

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Answered by Alyssa S, Marlee L, We Worthy Women, and White Ribbon

Choosing to report gender-based violence (GBV) is a very personal decision made by many victims and survivors across Canada. One option is to report GBV to the police. You can contact a local lawyer referral service, legal aid office, or public legal education and information association to seek legal advice. However, while going the legal route can seem like the obvious choice, it's not always the best one for every victim or survivor: It may feel unsafe or inaccessible to some communities. The criminal legal system process can also be traumatizing. It's a process that can take years and may not result in an outcome that feels just. You are never required to involve the police if you feel uncomfortable doing so.

You can also seek restorative justice that prioritizes repair over punishment. Restorative justice is about who was harmed and what is needed to repair that harm. It puts accountability and healing first and focuses on the needs of the victim or survivor. Look up agencies and organizations in your area. They can help you determine what process will be the most compatible, safe, and accessible for you to move forward.

If you're a student, you can report GBV to your school. Most post-secondary institutions have sexual violence or human rights and equity advocates or counsellors who can provide you with guidance and support to help make the decisions that are right for you. They can provide you with additional support and resources or referrals to other organizations that support people who have been subjected to GBV.

You can also choose to disclose GBV. While a report is initiated with the intention of engaging in a formal investigation, like with the police or your school, a disclosure about GBV can be made to a person who can provide you with support, like a helpline or therapist. These services may be required to report your case if there is a threat of immediate harm to you or others. Some of these organizations include:

• Kids Help Phone
• Local women's shelters
• Indigenous Hope for Wellness Hotline
• A 24/7 helpline in your province or territory

You should never feel pressured to report an experience of GBV if you feel it does not fit your personal boundaries. Always make the choice that you feel is best for your own safety and well-being.

Please note that this advice only applies if you are reporting or disclosing an incident of GBV after the fact. If you are in immediate danger, call 911.

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Answer from Sara T and GRIS-Montréal

Being with a partner that is overly critical can be a very difficult experience. You deserve to feel loved and respected in your relationship. Here are some actions that you can take to address the problem and chart a healthy path forward with your partner if you choose to stay in the relationship:

• Take notes of overly critical moments/comments made towards you.
• Try to have a calm conversation with your partner using supporting notes with concrete examples to explain how their behaviour makes you feel.
• Use "I" statements.
• Ask your friends/family if they notice your partner being overly critical.
• Make sure you always respect each other in the relationship and think about whether this relationship brings you more negative than positive.

Raising difficult topics in a relationship can be stressful. Make sure that when you do this, you're taking care of your own well-being. Seek help if you need it and remember that you're not alone. You deserve to feel comfortable and respected in your relationship.

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Answered by Niko C and We Worthy Women

Hearing threats from your partner, no matter who they're directedat, is a scary situation to be in. Sometimes, especially in the case of threats of self-harm or suicide, it can be hard to tell if these threats are a form of manipulation or a genuine cry for help.

If your partner makes threats of suicide or self-harm, look out for other warning signs of suicide. These may include sharing feelings of hopelessness or pain, increasing their use of drugs or alcohol, sleeping too little or too much, or withdrawing themselves from friends and family. Encourage your partner to contact a helpline or medical professional who can help them navigate those thoughts and feelings.

However, if your partner threatens suicide or self-injury every time you fight, this is more likely an act of emotional violence. Trying to manipulate your emotions is a sign of an unhealthy or abusive relationship. Your partner should trust that you care about them without you having to prove that or do things that make you uncomfortable.

If your partner is threatening you, that is an act of physical violence. You may want to think about whether or not this relationship is healthy or right for you — you don't deserve to feel unsafe in your relationship. If you think you're in immediate danger, call 911.

In any case, find support for yourself. It can be incredibly traumatic to feel threatened by your partner or to hear that they want to harm themselves. There are lots of resources available that can talk you through this situation while you remain anonymous, such as or provincial and territorial resources.

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Answer from Lila M and Possibility Seeds

Yes. Forced sexual acts that occur without consent are considered rape, regardless of your relationship with the perpetrator. Sexual assault can be scary and confusing, especially if it's being committed by someone that you thought you could trust, like a partner.

The legal term used in the Criminal Code of Canada for unwanted or hurtful sexual contact, which includes rape, sexual contact, force, gestures, or threats is "sexual assault." Sexual assault is a criminal code offence and is punishable by imprisonment. Under section 265(1) of the Criminal Code, "assault" is defined as any act or instance where:

1. Without the consent of another person, a person applies force intentionally to that other person, directly, or indirectly;
2. A person attempts or threatens, by an act or a gesture, to apply force to another person, if that person has, or causes that other person to believe on reasonable grounds that the person has, present ability to affect their purpose; or
3. While openly wearing or carrying a weapon or an imitation thereof, the person accosts or impedes another person or begs.

When engaging in sexual contact, you must provide consent and you must receive consent from your partner. Know that consent can be withdrawn at any time and that decision must be respected at all times. Consent is a voluntary and explicit agreement. Silence or a lack of response is not consent. Consent cannot be obtained where:

• The individual is subjected to unwanted treatment or application of force.
• The use of pressure, threats, or fear are applied against the victim.
• A person abuses their exercise of authority (i.e., manager-employee power imbalance and abuse of power).

If you believe you have been sexually assaulted by your partner, take time to take care of yourself and get to a place where you feel safe. Know that your feelings are valid. You can report the incident to the police and immediately go to a hospital or medical clinic and request a sexual assault examination. This article may be a helpful resource for more information on sexual assault.

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Answered by anonymous and FOXY/SMASH

Seeing your partner punching, hitting, or throwing things when they're angry can be a scary experience. It is not a normal or acceptable reaction to being upset. In fact, it can be a form of physical violence.

The most important thing when addressing this kind of situation is to take care of yourself. Your safety is the main priority, and if somebody is violent with objects that behaviour can escalate to more violent actions. If you need immediate help, call 911. Even if you are unable to speak, do not disconnect the call.

If you are planning to stay with your partner or with somebody else who struggles with controlling their anger, there are some tools you can use to deescalate outbursts:

• Communicate with your partner on how things trigger you and what triggers them.
• Remind each other that it's you against the problem, not against each other.
• In tense situations, ensure that you take breaks and set a timer. Time and perspective can help regulate you and decrease the likelihood of situations getting out of hand.
• Speak to trusted friends and family to gain perspective on your situation.
• Seek outside help from a professional counsellor or social worker who can help you navigate the situation.
• If the situation escalates to where you feel unsafe, call 911 or leave the situation immediately if possible.

Always take care when addressing situations involving violent acts. And remember, this is not a normal reaction to a situation, and it is not your fault.

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Answer from anonymous and FOXY/SMASH

Being harassed by someone that you used to be in a relationship with can have a huge toll on your mental health. Harassment is a form of abuse that includes any unwanted physical or verbal behaviour that can occur in person or online. Dealing with harassment can be scary and should be taken seriously.

To protect yourself, consider the following steps:

• Make sure your friends, family, and loved ones are aware of your situation.
• If you're being harassed online or over the phone, it's best to block the harasser, their close friends, and their family members to limit their ability to contact you.
• If the harassment persists after blocking them, you may also consider changing your phone number.
• If the harassment escalates, don't be afraid to contact the authorities. You can call the non-emergency crisis line in your area if the situation isn't life-threatening and ask them to deliver a warning or call 911 if someone is actively threatening to harm you.

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Answer from Avril H and Platform

Sexual harassment can take various forms. Here are some key indicators to help you identify it at work:

• Unwanted sexual advances: Inappropriate touching, hugging, or kissing without your consent.
• Sexual comments or jokes: Lewd comments, jokes, or innuendos of a sexual nature that make you uncomfortable.
• Sexualized bullying or intimidation: Insults, name-calling, or offensive remarks related to your gender, appearance, or sexuality. Threats, humiliation, or intimidation based on your gender or sexual orientation.
• Unwelcome sexual comments or advances online: Receiving unsolicited explicit messages, emails, or texts from coworkers or superiors.
• Display of inappropriate material: Displaying or sharing explicit images, posters, or materials in the workplace.
• Unwanted sexual attention: Repeatedly and inappropriately staring at or commenting on someone's appearance or body.
• Invasion of personal space: Standing too close or invading personal space in a sexual or intimidating manner.
• Sabotage or retaliation: Retaliation or adverse employment actions, such as demotions, terminations, or unfavourable job assignments, in response to rejecting advances or reporting harassment.
• Hostile work environment: A pervasive atmosphere of sexual innuendo or inappropriate behaviour that makes you uncomfortable or interferes with your ability to work.
• Gender-based discrimination: Discrimination based on gender, such as unfair treatment or job assignments due to your gender or gender identity.
• Inadequate response from management: If you report an incident of sexual harassment and your employer fails to address the issue or takes insufficient action, this can be an indicator of a problematic work environment.

If you experience any of these behaviours or witness them happening to a coworker, it's essential to take action to protect yourself and others in your workplace. Document the incidents by keeping detailed records, including dates, times, locations, and any witnesses. Report the harassment to your Human Resources department or a designated authority within your organization.

If the issue is not resolved internally, consider consulting an attorney who specializes in workplace harassment.

If you are subjected to this type of sexual violence, the most important thing is to care for your well-being. Remember that you are not alone, and it is not your fault. Seek support from friends, family, or a therapist to help you cope with the emotional toll of harassment.

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Answered by Emily T and Possibility Seeds

Financial violence, which includes, but is not limited to, stealing financial information, pressuring or blackmailing somebody to give money, and controlling purchases, is a form of gender-based violence (GBV).

If you are being subjected to financial violence, it's important to remember that it is not your fault and that you have the right to safety and financial freedom. Here are some things you can do:

• Prioritize your safety and take care of your mental health.
• Reach out to your local family violence support centres. As a starting point, check out these National Family Violence Services and Resources available across Canada.
• Set up a different bank account with your own name and stop depositing money into the shared account. Ask your employers or other sources of income to begin depositing money to this new bank account with your own name. If setting up a new bank account isn't an option, you might consider setting cash aside in a safe place.
• Tell a trusted friend or family member what's happening. They can provide a listening ear, advice, or logistical support in ensuring your safety.

Financial violence is GBV, and nobody deserves to be subjected to it. Take the steps needed to protect yourself and secure your future.

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Answer from Rhonda N and Possibility Seeds

Yes. If your partner is pressuring or forcing you to perform sex acts that you're not consenting to, that's sexual assault. If you feel safe, tell your partner that what they're doing is not okay. If you feel comfortable, you should also reach out to family and friends to discuss with them or contact a helpline like Kids Help Phone if you want to talk it through.

The feeling that your partner may be sexually assaulting you is a difficult thing to grapple with. You should give yourself credit for recognizing that pressure like this is never okay.

Whether in a platonic or romantic relationship, consent is always mandatory. It must be freely given, reversible, informed, enthusiastic, and specific. Consent is a crucial aspect of all sexual activities, and all parties must willingly agree and understand what is happening. Anything that is not a clear "yes" is a "no," and if that no isn't respected – that's sexual violence.

Remember, when your partner acts this way towards you, it is never your fault. You are not alone and deserve to feel loved and respected.

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Answer from Yasmin A and Platform

Threatening to end a relationship during an argument is emotional manipulation and can create an unhealthy dynamic between you and your partner. Emotional manipulation is a form of emotional abuse in which the perpetrator creates scenarios to influence or control the other person for their gain. Threatening to leave while working through conflict puts barriers in place that may prevent you from communicating accordingly or seeking a proper resolution. It may also make you feel anxious, scared, or like you aren't able to speak up because you're afraid that your partner might leave.

Your partner's threats may stem from deeper issues (e.g., insecurity or self-preservation), but this behaviour is still a form of control because it may make you feel like you're forced to forgive them or do what they say. If you feel safe confronting your partner, try expressing how these threats make you feel. Ask them what the intention of these threats is and provide them with the space to share their feelings and challenges. If this conversation leads to further arguments and threats, seek external support like couples counselling.

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Answer from Sophie A and Possibility Seeds

Within your relationship, you deserve to feel comfortable and loved. What your partner might think is a sign of affection might not feel the same to you. It's important to prioritize your own safety and well-being within your relationship.

The first thing you should do is voice your boundaries and reinforce that you have not provided your consent to be touched. Bodily autonomy begins in having our personal space respected, and as such any touching is a violation of our boundaries if it is not consented to. There are different ways that boundaries can be expressed:

• In the moment, they can be expressed through body language, like creating physical distance from a partner, and can be voiced by saying, "I don't feel comfortable with being touched right now," or "I need more personal space."
• Boundaries that extend beyond a short time frame can be voiced by saying, "I feel more comfortable being asked before I'm touched [or given physical affection]."

If you plan on staying in the relationship and you feel comfortable doing so, it would be beneficial to have a conversation. One way to open the topic could be to reiterate that you value your connection and want to ensure you're both comfortable in the relationship. This will allow you to discuss physical space and boundaries in a way that's collaborative instead of accusatory.

If you feel comfortable sharing previous experiences that may have affected your boundaries for physical touch, you can introduce a conversation by saying, "I want you to know that my boundaries and my comfort zone when it comes to touch are from a place of past experiences. Your understanding means a lot to me, and I'm grateful for you listening for my cue to make sure I can reciprocate your affection and maintain a safe space between us."

Setting boundaries can feel intimidating, but ultimately your comfort and your safety are most important. If a partner is disrespectful of your boundaries, it may be time to assess whether this relationship is respectful of your needs. You should never have to push your boundaries to appeal or reassure another person.

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Answered by Niko C, Jaden M, We Worthy Women, and White Ribbon

Whether or not an abusive relationship can become a healthy one is a question without an easy answer — and certainly not one with an answer that can apply to every individual and relationship.

On one hand, yes, people are capable of learning and growing from their actions, and someone who has been abusive in the past may, with a lot of hard work, be able to form healthy, loving relationships in the future. However, this does not mean you should stay in an abusive relationship. This type of change can't happen overnight, and you do not deserve to continue to face abuse while waiting for change that may not even happen or could get worse over time.

It's important to remember that promises without actions are not changes. Abusers often make empty promises when feeling guilt or shame over their actions or if they feel like you may leave. Someone who says they'll change without taking concrete actions to do so is probably not ready or able to do so at that moment in time.

Even if a previously abusive partner does make changes for the better, that doesn't mean you should return to or remain in that relationship. You need to consider the damage that has already been done: Will you truly be able to trust and feel safe with that person after being subjected to abuse? You deserve to feel loved, safe, and valued at all times.

If you are subjected to violence in your relationship, remember that it's not your fault or your responsibility to fix your partner. They need to come to terms with their own behaviour and decide on their own to be better. Chances are, you'd be better off not sticking around to see if it happens.

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Answered by Jaden M and White Ribbon

Being spied on by a romantic partner can take a big toll on your mental health. It's abusive, controlling, and never okay. If you think your partner is spying on you, whether they're monitoring your text messages or tracking your location through an app, here are some things you can do:

• Place boundaries. Let them know that you're not okay with being watched or followed. Tell them what kind of check-ins you are okay with, like texting them when you're on your way home. You do not need to "meet them in the middle" when making boundaries — only agree to what you're comfortable with.
• Tell them how you feel. If you feel scared or anxious, let them know. Remind them that you are not an object and that you're not okay with them treating you like one. People are not allowed to be possessive over other people.
• Remember your worth. Often, partners who are possessive will talk down to you and make you feel bad about yourself to keep you "theirs" and make you afraid to leave. Remember that this is them manipulating you and not the truth: you are worthy of being in a safe and healthy relationship.
• Consider leaving. At the end of the day, the mental toll of a possessive partner probably isn't worth it. You are always allowed to leave a relationship, especially an unhealthy one.

People don't become possessive overnight, and they don't lose that trait overnight either. Your partner's possessiveness is not something you can fix. Your partner needs to spend time working on themselves to learn how to have a loving and healthy relationship.

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Answer from Rhoda N and Possibility Seeds

The idea of being removed from your home can be scary and anxiety-inducing. Navigating this time may be confusing legally and morally. If this is an experience that you are facing, it's important to know that you are not alone and that you have options. You have the right to feel safe where you're living. Here are some things that you can do or look into:

• Reach out to loved ones: If you can, tell a trusted friend or family member about your concerns. They may be able to provide advice, support, or a place to stay temporarily to make sure you're safe.
• Seek advice: Depending on your living situation, you may have legal protections from being kicked out of your home. This may differ based on your marital status and your living situation, like if you are renting your living space or own a home. Consider connecting with a violence prevention or legal organization to explore your options, your rights, and what supports might be available to you. Your province or territory may offer free legal advice through organizations such as Pro Bono Ontario, Justice Pro Bono in Quebec and Access Pro Bono in British Columbia.
• Make a safety plan: Have a plan in place if you feel threatened or unsafe. Consider who you might reach out to if your safety is threatened, where you might go, and what you might need to cope and feel safe. If you are forcibly removed from your home or are required to leave your home to protect your safety or well-being, the Government of Canada, the Canadian Women's Foundation, and your local YWCA can provide you with free resources, contact information for legal support and services, and information on shelters that are available near you.

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Answer from Yasmin A and Platform

It may feel confusing and hurtful if a partner betrays your trust by removing their condom during sex. This act is reproductive coercion and is a violation of your body and consent. This behaviour is also commonly known as "stealthing." This form of violence can put you at risk for sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and unwanted pregnancy and is harmful both physically and emotionally.

Know that prioritizing your wellness is of the utmost importance. You are not to blame. You consented to protected sex, and your partner violated that agreement. Be gentle with yourself during this time. When you're ready, getting tested for STIs and pregnancy can ensure your sexual health is cared for.

If it feels safe to do so, discuss the situation with your partner. If they are unwilling to acknowledge or take accountability for their actions, you may need to reassess the overall health of the relationship. You may want to consider seeking support from professionals, like a couples' therapist or trusted loved ones. If you feel like you are in danger or threatened, do not hesitate to reach out to local support for gender-based violence or contact the authorities. You can access local support groups in your area or seek therapy based on your circumstances.

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Answer from Justine F and GRIS-Montréal

Although your partner may not get along very well with some people around you, if your partner exercises or attempts to exercise control over your interactions and actions it is called a control dynamic. This type of dynamic is not healthy in a relationship.

Control dynamics can be destabilizing and cause people to experience sadness, frustration, anger, or fear. If you are in this kind of relationship, consider taking the following actions:

• Take notes of times when your partner attempted to exercise control over your interactions and actions.
• Try to have a calm conversation using supporting notes to justify your remarks with concrete examples.
• Talk to a loved one or a professional from a specialized organization to get an external opinion.
• Communicate your discomfort and emotions about this situation to your partner by using "I" statements. Control dynamics can arise for many reasons, but remember that nothing can justify it. For example, jealousy is not a proof of love but rather a driving force for a dynamic of control. If necessary, specialized resources exist for people who wish to work on their jealousy and not make others suffer from it.
• If you are afraid of your partner's reaction, do not hesitate to ask someone to be there with you during the conversation.
• Take a step back from the relationship and question your needs. A healthy relationship should be based on trust and kindness. Is this what you feel? Do you feel respected and safe? Do you feel forced to do things you don't like, or conversely, do you feel like you don't have the freedom to do what you like? Do not hesitate to seek support from a specialized resource or professional.

As you address this issue, make sure you care for your physical and mental well-being. You deserve to be comfortable in your relationship and nobody should be keeping you from your friends and family.

Monthly searches: 260

Answered by Lila M, Yasmin A, Possibility Seeds, and Platform

Learning that your partner has been stealing from you can be overwhelming, scary, and a potentially dangerous issue to address. There are a few ways to address the issue, but it is important to prioritize your safety and wellness. Here are some immediate steps to take:

• Confirm there are no other possible explanations for items that are going missing.
• Keep a list of items/amounts of money that are being stolen.
• Secure remaining belongings (i.e., move money from a joint bank account or lock valuables in a safe).
• Contact your bank if a partner has stolen a credit or debit card or withdrawn money from your personal or joint accounts without your knowledge. Advise them to lock the card and/or account.
• If a vehicle is stolen, notify your insurance company.

If it is safe to do so, have an open conversation with your partner about your concerns, but keep in mind:

• If possible, control your emotions and avoid reacting aggressively.
• Avoid accusations and insults, as this does not productively help the conversation move forward.
• Ask questions and allow space for them to be honest about why this is happening.
• Use this conversation to share how you feel and create strategies together to end the stealing.

If your partner refuses to stop and does not return the items, contact the police and report the lost belongings as stolen. You can either call 911 or the non-emergency line. You can also use the Victim Services Directory to connect with support workers in your community who can provide mental health, counselling, shelter, and other support.

If you have the resources, seek assistance from a lawyer or contact Legal Aid for assistance in connecting with a lawyer.

In dealing with a partner stealing from you, your main priority should be keeping yourself safe. Take appropriate measures to stay safe and care for your well-being.

Monthly searches: 260

Answered by Josel G and Wisdom2Action

Strangulation is a very serious form of physical violence that can lead to long-term health issues or even death. If you've been subjected to strangulation or any other form of physical violence by your partner, you should seriously consider leaving the relationship. Your safety comes first, always.

First, get to a place of safety. If you don't know where to go, look for resources and shelters in your area, or contact a family member or friend to let them know about the situation — they might be able to help you out.

If it's safe to do so, you may want to document the strangulation. Take photos of any physical signs and keep them in a password-protected file or go see a doctor who can keep a medical record of the incident.

Next, identify whether what you've been subjected to is domestic violence (which takes place between any two people in a household) or intimate partner violence (which happens between romantic partners who may or may not live together). This will help you find community and legal supports that are right for you.

Then, it's up to you to decide what types of services and supports are right for you. Do you need a safe place to stay? Contact women's shelters in your area or find a family member or friend who can help. If you'd like to press charges, contact your local police. If you need someone to talk to, call or text a helpline like or provincial and territorial resources.

The Government of Canada and Canadian Women's Foundation can provide you with resources and contact information for different types of community and legal support and services that are available nationally and near you. Your local YWCA offers assistance to women, young girls, families, Two-spirit, and gender-diverse people. And if you're a student, your school may also have support services available.

Whatever you choose to do, know that you deserve to be safe and free from violence.

If you're in need of immediate support or are in urgent danger, please call 911.