Redefining masculinity
The Men Like Me project
Mothers Matter Centre is working to help newcomer men build community around positive masculinities.
When thinking about masculinity, we often hear words like “strength,” “toughness,” or “control.” The question is: why don’t we associate masculinity with words like “nurturing,” “caring,” and “loving?”
This was a question that came up time and time again for the team at the Mothers Matter Centre. For over 22 years, their organization has been supporting isolated mothers and their children through employment and early learning programs. These efforts are important for many reasons. To name a few, it strengthens family relationships, economic integration and independence, and supports a child’s early literacy and numeracy skills.
Through this work, the Mothers Matter Centre identified a gap in available resourcing: supporting immigrant and refugee men and boys in creating positive identities and ending gender-based violence (GBV).
Men Like Me
Funded by Women and Gender Equality Canada, their new initiative called Men Like Me aims to support immigrant and refugee men and boys in redefining masculinity within a community-based setting.
“The Men Like Me project creates a safe environment for men to talk and explore what masculinity means to them," says Amy Robichaud, Chief Executive Officer at Mothers Matter Centre. “This is a space where they can explore how they feel about being fathers, what it’s like to be a parent, and share the challenges they face.”
A key outcome for participants is empowering them to become one of the primary sources of information for their children over the course of the 31-week early learning program. To achieve this goal, the initiative leverages tried-and-tested peer-based teachings to foster community in an organic way.
What is masculinity?
“Society tells men and boys they are only worth what they can contribute. If they are not actively providing or protecting, their worth on their own is not validated,” says Amy.
Amy goes on to describe how, at times, when newcomers move to another country for different opportunities, men may see success in starting a new life for their families as central to their identities. These same men may begin to feel isolated, frustrated, and like a personal failure when accessing resources or achieving economic security is out of reach.
Sadly, these situations can create the conditions that continue the cycle of GBV.
When men are not given access to positive versions of masculinity, they sometimes turn to what they have been told it means to be a man. This can include maintaining control and showing dominance through violence, as a way of preserving their own self-worth.
“By the time violence is involved, it has already likely become extremely difficult to support social and economic integration,” explains Amy. “Conversely, when men feel secure at home and in their identity, it means they can leave their homes and contribute to the economy. Men Like Me is about the prevention of GBV for the benefit of all genders.”
In the long term, Mothers Matter Centre strives to create a culture where men and women will identify with masculinity in a positive way and are able to care for one another.
Strengthening the GBV sector
When asked what advice she had to share with others working in the GBV sector, Amy replied, “Remember that this is not about one gender identity being more vulnerable or more inherently violent than the other. This is about the social constructs around gender, worth, and relationships.”
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