Padre's Corner - Et cetera, etc…

March 9, 2021 - Padre Michael Macintyre

I saw a book with the title Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff and It’s All Small Stuff, so I picked it up and gave it a read.

The author’s intent was to help people manage the stress and anxiety that comes with managing all the little details that crop up in life. I think it’s a safe thing to say that everyone has experienced the cumulative stress that comes from putting out all the little fires that crop up in day-to-day life – a flat tire, someone cuts us off in traffic, an innocent remark becomes a conflict with our significant other, or a remark from our supervisor at work just cuts the wrong way.

Things like that are the reason why another aphorism – “the straw that broke the camel’s back” – passed into our language, and why everyone understands what that means.

So often we sum up and pass by so many things in life and work, barely giving them any thought. And we pass them by as ‘et cetera.’ Those three little letters are the end of a sentence imply so much: “plan a birthday party to the kids, etc.” – ‘etc.’ can be a lot of time and effort.

I’ve been part of a number of wedding celebrations in which the event coordinator has listed “wedding vows, etc.” before going on to number the exact poses the couple has wanted for the photographer. In that case, ‘et cetera’ covers the plain reason that everyone is gathered on that day!

But, ‘et cetera’ becomes like our fast forward button for life. And those simple, mundane, admissible tasks become a heavier burden than we expect. The greater stressors in our lives aren’t acute ones – single heavy events – but cumulative ones, from those ‘et cetera’ times that we overlook.

It’s often such a tempting idea to have a fast-forward button for life—a ‘skip scene’ function—like on a Netflix episode. In that case, 2020 would have passed by a lot quicker!

But all those things – the tasks, the events, the duties, the moments - that we sum up as ‘et cetera’ are probably the most important parts of our lives – because they’re the majority of our lives. So much of our internal monologues feature us as the stars of our own reality shows, as media influences how we perceive ourselves and the value of our lives, and social media gives the impression that we are to live our lives with no boring interludes.

That just isn’t the case, though. Huge, life-changing events are thankfully rare, as they take so much time to process and appreciate. Our lives are truly lived in the ‘et cetera’ moments, and they catch up to us if we don’t live into them.

So here’s a word of advice about ‘et cetera’ – learn to appreciate the small stuff, because those are things that set and form your worldview, experience and understanding of all that happens around you.

A wise Rabbi once said to a student: consider the lilies of the field – they don’t provide anything meaningful by our standards, but yet they are still beautiful. Instead of trying to foster and create huge, life-changing events, focus on the ‘et cetera’ moments that craft those larger events.

You may just find your burden a little less, and your heart a little more full.