Are you lonely? You are not alone

March 18, 2024 - Padre Jim Hardwick

Loneliness and social isolation are not just personal feelings – they are significant health concerns.

The United States’ Surgeon General highlighted this issue in a 2023 report, stating loneliness can have severe impacts on our health, akin to smoking several cigarettes a day. It can also lead to premature dementia, obesity, anxiety, depression, drug and alcohol abuse, and suicidality.

However, this is not just an individual struggle; it is a shared experience, especially among military personnel who often face unique challenges related to separation from loved ones and frequent relocations. Deployments—where members are typically with others outside their usual social groups—are particularly challenging for some members.

This phenomena of loneliness and social isolation has been with us for a while, but COVID seems to have made things worse for some. Robert Putman in his 2000 book ‘Bowling Alone’ documented the decline of social interaction as early as the 1950s. The recent advent of social media platforms and digital devices seem to have accelerated the pace of social isolation some are experiencing. The numbers of individuals who feel lonely is rising and needs to be addressed. It is a silent epidemic.

If you are feeling lonely, remember you are not alone and there are many ways to connect with people.

As members of the military, you're accustomed to facing challenges head-on and working as part of a team. It's important to remember that acknowledging feelings of loneliness does not show weakness, but instead shows strength and self-awareness.

Here are some simple solutions to tackle this silent adversary:

  1. Stay Connected: Utilize technology wisely to keep in touch with family and friends. Regular video calls, messages or even old-fashioned letters can maintain bonds despite physical distances.
  2. Community Engagement: Engage with your local or military community. Attend events, join clubs or volunteer. Shared activities can lead to new friendships and lessen feelings of isolation.
  3. Physical Activity: Regular exercise can boost your mood and health. Join a gym, take up a sport or simply go for walks. Group fitness classes can also provide social interaction.
  4. Seek Support: Never hesitate to seek support from mental health professionals, especially those familiar with military life's unique challenges. They can provide strategies and resources for coping with loneliness.
  5. Be Open: Share your feelings with trusted individuals. Conversations about loneliness are becoming more common and accepted. You're likely to find others have felt the same way and can offer support or advice.

Remember, feeling lonely or isolated at times is a common human experience, especially in a career as demanding as the military. Recognizing the feeling and taking proactive steps to connect with others can significantly affect your mental and physical well-being.

Make it a habit to look others in the eye and say hello with a smile. Don’t eat your lunch alone; ask a colleague to join you and learn something about them. Try to book meetings face-to-face instead of virtually.

It can be as simple as just saying hello to someone and actively listening for a response as the start of a new conversation or possible friendship. Try it. You’ll be surprised how easy it is to do.

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