Padre's Corner - Ethical dilemmas
April 10, 2024 - Padre Kevin Sam, Canadian Armed Forces
Ever felt stuck in place, like you couldn’t decide the right thing to do?
This might be an ethical decision you had to make. It might be a situation where, either way, you felt it would be a difficult and undesirable decision. It was an ethical dilemma.
Sometimes, having to make a hard choice can make one feel excruciatingly painful inside. You know that one decision would be hard because it might not be beneficial to anyone involved.
When we interact with others, we will occasionally face ethical dilemmas. We need to decide between two seemingly undesirable results. Both choices might seem right, or both choices might seem wrong. Either way, a decision must be made. It is a hard place to be, and all of us have been there. This happens in our personal lives: at home, at work, and even when one is at rest and play.
This is where one needs to consult with trusted, wise and experienced persons, and even with family and friends—and sometimes not.
When one encounters this challenge, there will be a level of distress and anxiety. This can be healthy.
The definition of wisdom might be “the ability to live life skillfully.” This is not always possible because we all make mistakes in life. When we come to a point where we realize our decision was not the best decision, we must be able to forgive ourselves.
If it has ended up hurting someone, a sincere explanation could alleviate the hurt in the other person.
The outcome might not end up with hugs and forgiveness, but at least you tried. One day, the person you hurt might come to realize your decision was difficult to make. One day, that person might also experience the moral dilemma of having to make a decision that results in the same predicament.
It is healthy when there is moral distress. The inner struggle in desiring to do the right thing always come with struggle. A dilemma is not a dilemma when the choice is easy. Dilemmas are always difficult.
There is a biblical saying, “Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom.”
Another saying says, “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.”
Our intention and desire to do the right thing is of the utmost importance. It requires the desire to do the wise thing and the right thing. It also requires the humility to accept we might not always make the right decision—whether it was your decision or the decision of another.
Throughout life, remember even the most rational and dutiful decision might not always result in the best outcome. This is where humility comes in and reminds us not everything is in human hands. Providence may also have a hand in directing the path and trajectory your life takes. You might have thoroughly thought out and rationalized before executing your decision, and it might have ended up with a disastrous outcome. Remember: wisdom, the right intention and humility were at play in resolving your ethical dilemma.
It is my hope that whoever reads this and can find this relevant in their lives may come to deeply understand that forgiveness of oneself and of others has the power to cover the hurts that may have resulted in one’s life.
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