Sexual violence and consent

(Music starts) 

 

(ON SCREEN TEXT: Consent is not just about saying “yes”) 

 

Most people think they understand sexual consent, but it's not just about saying "yes" – there’s more to it than that. 

 

[Two people are talking together. A speech bubble with scribbles and a question mark appears above person one. A speech bubble with scribbles and a checkmark appears above person two, who is wearing an orange hoodie.] 

 

Consent means everyone actively, willingly, and continuously agrees. It can’t be guessed or assumed.  

 

[Person one is shown with a speech bubble beside them. The speech bubble fills with scribbles, question marks, exclamation marks, and a large image of a smiling heart with heart eyes.] 

 

[Person two holds their hand to their chest. A sharp burst graphic appears behind their head and behind their hand.] 

 

[Person one is shown in three frames. First, looking down holding their arm across their chest, then holding out their arm in excitement, then holding a hand to their head.] 

 

But talking about sexual consent can be awkward and make people feel nervous, excited, maybe even confused.  

 

[Person two’s orange hoodie appears on a dresser. An animated heart appears over it. The heart disappears, and a sharp burst graphic appears behind the hoodie.] 

 

Sometimes, it helps to think about it in a totally different way. So, let’s use a different example that follows the same basic ideas. 

 

[ON SCREEN TEXT: Your friend's favourite hoodie] 

 

Let’s say you want to borrow your friend’s favourite hoodie because you want to wear it to a party.  

 

[Person one and person two stand on either side of the orange hoodie.  A speech bubble appears from person one with a heart and exclamation in it.] 

 

[Inside the speech bubble, a location icon, celebration balloons, and a calendar image are shown.] 

 

How would you know if they’re okay with lending it to you? 

 

You'd need to ask by explaining where you’ll wear it, why you need to borrow it, and when you’ll return it – because consent starts with a clear ask. 

 

[Person one and person two continue talking. A speech bubble appears from person two with a question mark inside it.] 

 

[Person two puts their hand to their chin. A thought bubble appears with an ellipse inside it. The ellipse is replaced by a rain cloud.] 

 

Now, the other person needs to be able to say yes because they actually want to – not because they feel pressured, guilty, or shamed into saying yes.  

 

[A speech bubble appears from person two with a large “X” in it.] 

 

[A prohibition sign covers person two’s orange hoodie.] 

 

If they say no, that’s clear. You don’t take the hoodie. 

 

[Person one is shown pointing at the hoodie. A speech bubble appears with a question mark in it. A speech bubble above person two appears with an ellipse in it as a response. The ellipse is replaced by swirling scribbles.] 

 

[A prohibition sign covers person two’s orange hoodie.] 

 

If they don't, or can't respond clearly, that’s a no. For example, when somebody is drunk or high, they may not be able to understand or say yes. 

 

[Person one and person two are talking together. A thought bubble with a question mark appears over person two's head. The screen is split showing person two holding their hands to their chest on one side, and a thought bubble with a rain cloud inside it on the other side.] 

 

[A prohibition sign covers person two’s orange hoodie.] 

 

If they're unsure or only agreeing because they feel like they “have to”, then that’s not consent. 

 

[Person two holds out their orange hoodie. A speech bubble appears from them with a checkmark in it.] 

 

[Person one holds the orange hoodie. A thought bubble appears above them with a question mark in it.] 

 

They may say yes, and that's great, but... you want to know that it's something they really want to do.  

 

[ON SCREEN TEXT: Remember the key elements of consent] 

 

Remember that consent isn’t just hearing ‘yes.’ 

 

[ON SCREEN TEXT: Freely given] 

 

[Person one and person two talk. A large exclamation mark, question mark, and exclamation mark appears in a speech bubble from person one. Person two holds their hands to their chest.] 

 

If someone is pressured into saying yes to lending you their hoodie, that isn't consent. 

 

[Person one shouts and pointing a finger. Person two holds their hands to their chest.] 

 

[ON SCREEN TEXT: Freely given] 

 

If someone feels that they have to lend you their hoodie because you will be mad if they don't, that doesn't qualify as consent either. It needs to be freely given. 

 

Ask questions like “Is it ok if...” or “Did you want me to...” 

 

[ON SCREEN TEXT: Reversible] 

 

It’s important to know that consent isn’t permanent and can be reversible.  

 

[There are three frames of person one and two. In the first frame, person two holds their hoodie to their chest while person one holds their hands at their sides. In the next, person one gives the hoodie back to person two. In the last, person one is wearing the hoodie, and person two has a hand on their arm.] 

 

[Person one folds the hoodie and hands it back to person two.] 

 

If someone changes their mind before you take the hoodie, after you’ve taken it, or while you’re wearing it, you need to recognize that it’s their choice and respect it. 

 

[Person one, who is now holding the hoodie, talks to person two. A speech bubble with a calendar appears from person two.] 

 

[ON SCREEN TEXT: Informed] 

 

Now, let’s say they agree to let you borrow their hoodie for a few days. 

 

[Person one is shown in a split screen. On one side, they stand in their bedroom holding up the orange hoodie and a pair of scissors. On the other side, person two is giving the hoodie to a different friend.]  

 

That doesn’t mean you’ve also been given permission to cut off the sleeves or give the hoodie to a different friend.  

 

[ON SCREEN TEXT: Informed] 

 

Consent only counts when everyone knows exactly what they’re agreeing to.   

 

[ON SCREEN TEXT: Enthusiastic] 

 

[Person two gives a thumbs up. Four speech bubbles with checkmarks appear around them. The frame splits to display an image of person two looking down with a thought bubble of a rain cloud in it.] 

 

Think about what it feels like for someone to enthusiastically agree to something. You might look at their facial expression and body language, as well as what they say. That's the type of "yes" you'd want to hear - not someone "giving up" because they feel bullied or shamed.   

 

[A large speech bubble with a checkmark in it appears.] 

 

Real consent feels confident, comfortable, and clear. 

 

[ON SCREEN TEXT Specific] 

 

[Person one and person two talk with the hoodie between them. A speech bubble with a question mark appears above person one. Person two puts their hand to their chin. They respond with a speech bubble with a checkmark in it.] 

 

Consent is all about specifics. If you're not giving them all the details or lying about how you’ll use the hoodie, that's not consent either. 

 

[Person one holds their hand to their chin. A thought bubble appears with images of a hoodie, socks, a hat, and a tank top in it. Prohibition symbols appear over all the images of clothing but the hoodie.] 

 

Saying yes to lending you one piece of clothing doesn't mean saying yes to borrowing the rest of their clothes. 

 

[A speech bubble with a location icon, celebration balloons, and a clock in it.] 

 

Consent is all about clear communication, no matter the situation. 

 

[Person one and person two talk together. A speech bubble appears beside person one with a heart, an exclamation mark, and a question mark in it. Person two puts their hand on their chin. A thought bubble appears over person two’s head with an ellipse inside of it.] 

 

If any of this feels awkward or confusing when we’re talking about borrowing a hoodie, imagine how much more important it is when it comes to sexual consent. 

 

[ON SCREEN TEXT: Consent must always be freely given, reversible, informed, enthusiastic, specific] 

 

Remember, consent must always be: 

Freely given  

Reversible 

Informed 

Enthusiastic 

Specific 

 

[ON SCREEN TEXT: Consent is not just about saying yes] 

 

Again, consent isn’t just about saying yes. It's an ongoing conversation, based on trust and respect. 

 

[ON SCREEN TEXT: Canada.ca/ItsNotJust] 

 

[The Government of Canada logo appears.] 

False. This is not true consent. A lack of “no” doesn’t mean that someone is agreeing to sex — there has to be ongoing and enthusiastic participation by both people.

False. You need to get consent for every specific sexual activity, with every partner, every time. No exceptions. Communication is important and can make the sexual activity even better.

False. Consent cannot be assumed or implied, and an unconscious person is not capable of giving consent. Even if this person is your long-term partner, there is no consent.

True. Your partner agreed to one act, and sex without a condom is another. They have been tricked and could not give informed consent.

True — there is no consent here. When there is an imbalance of power in a relationship, the consent is never, ever there. A coach is only one example of someone in a position of trust and authority. Other examples include teachers, adult family members, leaders in faith communities, or caregivers.