Unity: What would you do?
In Canada, we value equality, kindness, and community. Yet, 2SLGBTQI+ people still face discrimination and stigma in daily life, often in ways that can be hard to spot. This activity will help you notice these moments and explore different ways you can respond. Together, through small everyday actions, we can build more welcoming spaces where everyone is respected and welcome.
You’re helping plan a workplace community event. One colleague suggests hosting a “Mother–Daughter Day,” and another organizer responds, “It’s perfect. Everyone will love it!” You notice that some colleagues in the planning committee quietly disengage from the conversation. What do you do?
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Option 1: You recognize that a ‘mother - daughter’ focused event is not inclusive or representative of the many diverse families and gender identities that exist. Though you notice this may be causing some colleagues to feel uncomfortable or disengaged, you don’t say anything because you’re unsure if it’s your place to speak up.
You recognized that this event may unintentionally exclude some individuals and families, and that awareness is valuable. Many people don’t realize certain themes or words can signal who belongs and who doesn’t. Group planning sessions also have more to navigate with various relationships and often fast-paced conversations. What is important is that you noticed and want to create inclusive spaces.
Check the other options to see what you could do to address the situation.
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Option 2: You check in privately with your coworkers who seemed uncomfortable, to acknowledge what you noticed and ask how they feel.
Reaching out privately shows real thoughtfulness. When event themes are not inclusive, it can leave people feeling overlooked or unseen. This feeling could have been made worse by the comment about “everyone” being excited about the event. A quiet check-in can help your colleague feel seen and supported.
This is a great start to supporting inclusivity. Options 3 and 4 are also positive ways to make an impact.
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Option 3: You speak to the planning team privately and suggest a more inclusive event, like “Family and Friends Day.”
This is a great way to address the situation! Speaking privately with the organizers shows respect while creating change. It helps keep the conversation constructive and avoids putting anyone on the spot. Approaching with kindness goes a long way. This approach keeps the enthusiasm of the original idea while making sure everyone feels included.
Options 2 and 4 are also good choices if this one doesn’t feel right to you.
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Option 4: You politely speak up during the meeting and suggest a more inclusive theme: "This is a great idea. Why don’t we choose a theme that is a bit broader and welcoming to all kinds of families and individuals?”
This approach helps set the tone right away, so everyone feels respected. By keeping your tone friendly and matter of fact, you can show support without putting anyone on the spot. A simple comment can shift the committee’s perspective and encourage the group to think more broadly about inclusivity.
If you aren’t comfortable addressing the issue publicly, options 2 and 3 might be better suited for you.
You’re watching a video on a social networking app. The clip is about the person’s experience as an intersex person. You see a comment saying, “oh so it’s a he/she.”
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Option 1: You see the hurtful comment, feel upset by it, but decide not to engage and keep scrolling.
Online spaces can sometimes bring out unkind comments. People are more likely to express hatred when they aren’t face to face, and anonymity can make people say harmful things. It’s normal to feel upset or unsure about stepping in. The important thing is you’ve recognized that words matter.
Explore the other options to see how you can take this knowledge and change it into actions that show your support!
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Option 2: You send a private message to the video creator expressing support and letting them know you appreciated them sharing their experience.
Being visible online as a 2SLGBTQI+ creator is complex. It builds community and helps people feel less alone, but it can also make the creator a target for hateful comments. Sending a private message of support to this intersex creator and acknowledging the courage it takes to share their experience can be incredibly meaningful and motivating.
Options 3 and 4 are also ways to show your support.
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Option 3: You report the comment to the platform for hate speech and encourage your friends and followers to help report it.
Reporting hate speech is a great way to seek consequences for hateful comments. Unfortunately, you can’t control if reporting will be effective, but you can ask friends to join and add pressure on the platform.
Consider also reaching out to the creator (option 2) or replying to the comment if you are comfortable (option 4).
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Option 4: You reply directly to the comment with educational information about intersex experiences or point out the language is harmful and inappropriate.
Responding to the commenter directly is courageous and can be effective, opening the door for learning. Others reading your comment will see that hateful comments don’t go unchallenged and might offer their support to the creator as well. Even a short, caring response can help shift the tone of the conversation. Online exchanges can escalate quickly, so if things get overwhelming, suggest the creator restrict comments and focus on positive feedback instead. And don’t forget to look after yourself in the process.
If commenting directly feels overwhelming, check out options 2 and 3 for ways to show support.
You’re at a Pride event with your new coworker. You’re at a booth learning the meaning of the 2SLGBTQI+ acronym, your colleague says, “Oh, Two-Spirit — didn’t they make that up in the ’90s?”
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Option 1: You hear your coworker’s comment and know there’s more to Two-Spirit identity but feel unsure about adding the fuller context in front of others at the booth.
Correcting a coworker can be stressful, especially if you discover they might believe harmful misconceptions. You might also feel responsible for their comment in front of the booth volunteer. It’s completely normal to freeze in these moments. We all need time to process.
Read the other options to see how you could ease your coworker into learning.
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Option 2: You pull your colleague aside privately to explain that although the English term “Two-Spirit” was first introduced in 1990, it reflects diverse gender, sexual, and spiritual roles and identities that have existed within many Indigenous communities for centuries. You clarify that not all Indigenous 2SLGBTQI+ people identify as Two-Spirit, and that the term is not a universal identity or replacement for Nation-specific identities and understandings. You could also suggest Two-Spirit social media content creators they could follow to learn more.
It’s wise to wait and remove yourself from the situation before talking to your coworker. Their comment sounded harmful, and you don’t know how they might react to being corrected publicly. Anger or shame could delay their learning. Taking a moment to gently share what you know, and pointing them to an Indigenous-led resource, helps your colleague learn in a caring way. It’s all about opening a door, not shutting one.
Check out options 3 and 4 for other ideas.
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Option 3: You look to the booth volunteer to help provide the fuller context about Two-Spirit identities and origins.
This is a great opportunity to learn from a third party! Ask the volunteer a question, even if you know the answer: “Oh, I didn’t know the term was from the 1990s. Do you have more information on Two-Spirit identities?” By asking to learn more, your coworker doesn’t feel attacked and learns alongside you. It’s perfect for breaking the tension while encouraging education!
If the person at the booth can’t help out, check out options 2 and 4 for other ways to move forward.
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Option 4: You immediately add context by saying something like “Yes, the English term was first introduced in 1990, but it’s a collective term that includes traditional Indigenous cultural understandings of gender, sexual and spiritual identities that have existed for centuries across many different Nations. The English term Two-Spirit was chosen and is used by some Indigenous peoples to reconnect with these traditional teachings.”
Sharing context and information in a calm and supportive way helps guide your colleague to better understanding. This approach also immediately addresses the situation, showing your coworker you don’t accept biased comments and that you care about ensuring Indigenous communities are spoken about with the respect they deserve. Your willingness to speak up in the moment shows genuine solidarity and can spark important learning.
If this response doesn’t feel like something you would do, check out options 2 and 3.
You’re at a family dinner and your cousin introduces her girlfriend. As more family members arrive, your aunt introduces the girlfriend as your cousin’s “friend.”
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Option 1: You notice your aunt referring to the girlfriend as just a “friend” but feel uncomfortable addressing the situation at the family gathering.
You recognize that calling her girlfriend just a “friend” suggests your aunt isn’t comfortable with your cousin’s sexuality or is unintentionally or intentionally minimizing this relationship. Family settings involve complex dynamics and histories, so it’s completely normal not to want direct confrontation, as things could escalate quickly.
Check out the other options to see how you could help further.
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Option 2: You approach your cousin privately to acknowledge what happened and let her know you support her relationship.
Support from family makes a world of a difference, especially when it comes to self-acceptance and self-esteem. Even if one family member isn’t supportive, having others step up and vocally show their support can be a real game changer. By showing your cousin that you see and respect her relationship, you’re helping create a family environment built on love and belonging. This kind of support makes such a difference!
Options 3 and 4 are other ways to show support. Check them out!
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Option 3 (Seeking community support): You talk to your aunt privately after the gathering about using the correct terminology.
Privately educating your aunt is an example of “calling in” as opposed to “calling out.” Lack of knowledge doesn’t automatically mean bad intentions; often people just need support navigating new situations. By offering help to your aunt, you are the bridge between your aunt and cousin, helping them understand each other and making future family gatherings much smoother.
You can also check in with your cousin, as outlined in option 2, or address it in the moment as described in option 4.
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Option 4: You kindly correct your aunt in the moment by saying something like “Actually, this is [cousin’s name]’s girlfriend” or naturally refer to her as the girlfriend when speaking.
Stepping in gently helps affirm your cousin’s relationship and shows her that you respect who she is. It also models for others how easy and impactful it can be to use the right words. This simple act of kindness can make the gathering feel much more comfortable for everyone. This is thoughtful but consider your family dynamics to figure out the best approach.
If this response doesn’t feel right to you, check out options 2 or 3 for other ways to respond.
Your friend shares with your group of friends that they are bisexual. After they speak, another friend says, “Oh, that’s so trendy. Everyone is claiming to be bisexual these days.”
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Option 1: You hear the insensitive comment and feel uncomfortable, but don’t say or do anything as you aren’t sure how to respond in front of the group.
It can be quite surprising to hear a friend minimize another friend’s experience when they’re sharing something personal like their sexual orientation. You’re probably not the only one feeling uncomfortable in the group, but speaking up isn’t always easy when group dynamics are already established.
Look at the other options to see how you could address this situation.
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Option 2: You reach out to your friend privately later to let them know you support them and that the other friend’s comment was inappropriate.
Your friend is probably hurt by the inappropriate comment and might not feel welcome in the group anymore. 2SLGBTQI+ people often feel isolated from friends because of situations like this. Reaching out privately to offer support and validate their identity could be deeply meaningful. It shows them they’re not alone and that at least one friend truly accepts them.
You may want to also address the person who made the comment or speak up in the moment. Check out options 3 and 4 for other options.
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Option 3: You reach out to other friends who could be uncomfortable with the comment, then you all address the situation together with the friend who made the dismissive comment.
Building a united front is a smart strategy. You’re probably not the only one who felt uncomfortable with that comment. By connecting with other concerned friends first, you can approach the person who made the comment together. This group approach could feel confrontational, so make sure you aren’t attacking, but instead firmly setting boundaries.
Check out options 2 and 4 for other ways to respond.
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Option 4: You immediately respond to support your friend by saying something like “It is not a trend. Bisexuality is a real identity and our friend deserves respect.”
Standing up in the moment shows courage and care. You’re letting your friend know their identity is valid and showing the entire group that kindness and respect matter. By keeping your words clear and kind, you are helping your group build a culture where harmful comments aren’t dismissed. Your quick response helps protect your bisexual friend and makes them feel safer and more valued.
If you don’t feel confident speaking up, check out options 2 and 3 for other options.
You join a recreational football team with your best friend. After the game you go for dinner, and when your teammate asks your friend if he has a girlfriend, your friend says, “No, actually I have a boyfriend.” Suddenly, your teammate says, “Maybe you’d make a better cheerleader than linebacker.”
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Option 1: You hear the offensive comment and feel shocked by your teammate’s reaction, but don’t say or do anything as you feel unsure how to respond in front of the team.
You both just joined this new team, so it’s completely understandable you wouldn’t feel comfortable speaking up yet. You don’t know these people or how they might react. However, your friend is probably hurt by this experience and might even consider quitting football altogether.
Check the other options to see how you could address this situation!
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Option 2: You check in with your best friend privately after the situation to make sure he’s okay and let him know you don’t support what was said.
Joining a new team may be stressful for anyone, especially if they feel that they don’t belong. Supporting him privately is always a good choice, as it shows he’s not alone. Let him know that whatever he decides, staying or finding another team, you’ll follow his lead and stick with him.
If you feel you want to take other steps, check out options 3 and 4 for other actions you can take.
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Option 3: You talk to your teammate privately about why his comment was inappropriate, and if he doesn’t respond well, you bring the situation to the coach or team organizers to address it properly.
It takes real courage to raise this with a new teammate, but doing so helps set the tone for a respectful team where everyone feels welcome. Remember to prioritize your safety, and don’t hesitate to involve the coach or organizers. They’re responsible for maintaining a respectful team culture and handling these issues.
If this option feels too intimidating for you, check out option 2. If you feel you’d rather do something in the moment, check out option 4.
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Option 4: You immediately respond by saying something like “That comment isn’t ok – it’s homophobic” or “That’s not cool. Do you realize how that sounds?”
Addressing the comment right away shows your friend he’s not alone and that disrespectful language has no place on your team. You can also ask, “What does sexuality have to do with skill?” This turns the comment around, making the teammate explain their bias clearly. Your courage can inspire others to speak up too.
If this option doesn’t feel like something you would do, check out options 2 and 3 for other ways to show support.