The economics of kinkeeping

The air is crisp, the leaves are changing colours. With the colder months comes the promise of long-held traditions at holiday gatherings. 

The fall and winter months are notoriously busy when it comes to celebrations. For Eid, Diwali, Christmas, Hanukkah, Lunar New Year and countless others, friends and family gather over meals to reconnect and mark the passage of time.

But fond memories don’t just happen. They take effort.

A kinkeeper is someone who ensures family members stay in touch and traditions are upheld. If you haven’t hosted a major holiday yet, you might wonder: “How much work could it really be?”

The unequal distribution of household chores

Hosting a holiday get-together isn’t just about cooking.

It often includes tasks like cleaning the house, buying groceries, shopping for gifts, decorating and more. The emotional burden of hosting can also include things like negotiating family calendars, managing long-standing family tensions, ensuring guests are comfortable, and the mental load of a never-ending to do list.

Too often the host spends the majority of their time cleaning and serving, sometimes missing out on enjoying the gathering altogether.

Investing all this effort into gatherings can put a tremendous amount of pressure on someone. And often, this burden falls to women.

What is unpaid work?

Unpaid work is all activities needed to keep households and communities running. Caregiving of children and adults, domestic tasks, community involvement and volunteering all fall under the category of unpaid work^{Footnote 1} . This labour is considered “invisible” because there is no dollar value attached, but its impact is anything but.

More women are participating in the workforce than ever before. In 2024, women aged 25 to 54 had a record 85.1% labour force participation rate^{Footnote 2} . However, in 2022, almost 30% of women in Canada worked in the five lowest-paid occupations including sales and service roles, care providers, and administrative support^{Footnote 2} . Women remain underrepresented in leadership positions, and when they do break through the glass ceiling, they continue to earn less than men in comparable roles^{Footnote 2} .  

Yet they still shoulder the majority of unpaid domestic and caregiving work.

“Double burden” is a term used to describe how many individuals, particularly women, complete a full day of paid work only to return home to a “second shift” of unpaid caregiving and household responsibilities^{Footnote 3}  .   

Making memories benefit everyone

The benefits of kinkeeping have lifelong impacts that support entire families and communities.

The magic of the holiday season does not happen by accident. Share the load between all family members so everyone can enjoy new and long-held traditions. Sitting down together as partners or a family and dividing tasks can help everyone feel like they have a role to play. Most importantly: it removes the burden off one person.

Here is a sample checklist that the whole family can use to help pitch in ahead of big family events. This list can be tailored to meet the needs of your family!