A pathway to peace and purpose: How Restorative Opportunities helped Rowan and his family turn pain into peace
Article written by: Correctional Service Canada’s Restorative Justice Division
“Sometimes the things we fear the most aren’t what we imagine.”
That’s what Rowan realized the day he sat across from Ronald, the man who had taken his mother’s life. What began as a journey with unimaginable loss, ended in unexpected love and peace. Their journey, supported by the Correctional Service of Canada’s Restorative Opportunities program, became more than a meeting. It became a turning point; one that helped them reclaim meaning and see the human behind the unimaginable act.
In August of 1988, 4-year-old Rowan’s life changed forever when his mother, Catherine Greeve, was murdered in a brutal attack at Edmonton’s Churchill train station. She had stopped at a washroom on her way back to work after lunch with her husband. There, she was fatally strangled by a young man lying in wait to rob someone. For decades, the trauma of that day lingered in Rowan’s life and family.
Years later, Rowan found himself driving home from the Victims of Homicide conference in Edmonton,an event co-founded by his grandfather, Catherine’s father. The stories he heard there, of victims meeting and forgiving those who had harmed them, deeply moved him. It was during that drive that Rowan experienced what he describes as a spiritual revelation. “I saw this ocean of love, and I felt like I was the one who could offer it”.
Ronald was the man who murdered his mother.
Given Rowan’s strong faith, he had already forgiven Ronald in his heart. But after hearing powerful stories from victims who had met those responsible for their loss, he felt a need pulling him to do the same. He had to find a way to make this happen as the man who killed his mother was still behind bars in a federal penitentiary. He couldn’t just pick up the phone or drop by for a conversation with Ronald. If Rowan wanted to meet him face-to-face, he would have to follow prison protocols, request permissions, and face emotional hurdles all by himself and that seemed overwhelming to him.
A month later, Jennifer Haslett and Alan Edwards, mediators with the Restorative Opportunities (RO) program, were guest speakers at the Victims of Homicide meeting. That’s when Rowan learned about the Correctional Service of Canada’s RO program, offering unique and customized services to help victims like him communicate with the person responsible for their loss. That moment marked the beginning of a meaningful journey.
Nancy Whistance-Smith, Rowan’s aunt and Catherine’s sister also joined him in this process. 2 RO mediators were involved throughout. Jennifer Haslett walked alongside Rowan and Nancy with care and sensitivity; respectfully guiding them through the early stages and exploring their specific needs. Rowan and Nancy’s spiritual beliefs hold a central place in their lives. This was immediately recognized and thoughtfully considered by Jennifer at every step.
Chantal Chicoine worked closely with Ronald, the offender, to help him reflect on what happened, the impacts, and ensure he was truly ready to meet with them; something Rowan and Nancy deeply valued.
When the time came for the face-to-face meeting with the offender, both mediators were there to facilitate the dialogue and ensure all parties felt comfortable and able to pause the conversation as needed.
Nancy remembers the moment Ronald entered the room. “He said, ‘I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, if there's anything I can do for your family.’ And Rowan responded, ‘I forgive you. In the name of Jesus, you were forgiven.’ It was one of the most spirit-filled hours of my life.” Nancy adds, “This is the man who changed our lives in a horrific way. But I believe this wasn’t intentional. This isn’t who he is.”
Rowan echoes: “It was really powerful,” he says. “It was calm, better than I ever expected,” when speaking about meeting Ronald, the man who took his mother’s life. Contrary to childhood images of a terrifying figure, Ronald appeared to him as an ordinary, aging man. “It was a teachable moment,” Rowan says. “Sometimes the things we fear the most aren’t what we imagine.”
Afterwards, Jennifer helped Rowan and Nancy process the experience, offering a safe space that was open and responsive to their spiritual beliefs. The mediator provided an environment where reflection, healing, and ‘meaning-making’ could unfold in a way that honored the participants’ faith and values.
Ronald, who has been incarcerated for over three decades, has repeatedly declined parole. Rowan once wondered why, especially after forgiveness had been given. But over time, he came to understand that Ronald may not feel ready to face the outside world. Nancy adds that Ronald has admitted that he still doesn’t fully understand how he could have taken someone’s life. Ronald questions and shared his concerns about any potential release beyond the prison walls. Nancy and Rowan both believe that Ronald needs a supportive, supervised environment that is not a prison cell.
Nancy describes the spiritual impact of the encounter as profound and as “having a sense that things moved, that the forgiveness that I had begun to experience quite soon from the beginning was able to be completed right.”
For Rowan, the experience is summed up in 3 words: love, forgiveness, and peace.
Despite the tragedy, Rowan and Nancy see Ronald’s growth. He has built strong relationships inside, helps others with translation, and speaks about forgiveness in a way that honors the gift he received. “He doesn’t say someone might forgive you,” Rowan explains. “He says, ‘I was forgiven’.” That distinction matters deeply to Rowan. Ronald doesn’t speak of forgiveness as a vague hope or a distant possibility. He speaks from a lived experience and acknowledges that someone has already extended that grace to him. It shows that he has accepted the forgiveness fully and is now trying to live in a way that reflects that gift.
Their story often surprises people. “When I tell them I forgave the man who killed my mom, they’re shocked,” Rowan says. “But it opens the door to deep conversations.”
Both Nancy and Rowan recognize the profound impact the RO program can have, not only on victims, but also on offenders and families. They understand that their experience is unique, perhaps even rare, and that they represent just one part of what restorative justice can look like. But they also know that for others, the program might offer a chance to ask long-held questions, or to see the face of someone who changed their life forever.
Rowan and Nancy’s Christian faith has been a cornerstone throughout their RO process. What has made the journey even more meaningful is the enduring support they’ve received from the RO mediator. A clear example of this lasting relationship is how, each month of August – a particularly difficult time for them, each month of August - particularly difficult time for them, the mediator continues to offer comfort and support.
While they both acknowledge that this is their side of the story, they remain curious about Ronald’s perspective. Though an interview may not be possible, Nancy and Rowan believe his artwork offers insight into his experience.
For Rowan and Nancy, this journey, made possible through the support of the RO program, has been about restoring meaning, honoring Catherine’s life, and choosing peace over pain. “We want Cathy’s life to have meaning,” they say. “This didn’t end with her death. Something good has come from something horrible.”
For more information about the CSC’S Restorative Opportunities Program and its services