Frequently Asked Questions

 It's hard to name an exact age, it depends a lot on each child's development and their environment. We always advocate for developmentally appropriate discussions. That being said, we always encourage parents to start these discussions as soon as their children have access to the internet. At 5-7 years old, you can already start talking about bullying situations by asking questions like "has anyone ever been mean to you? The important thing is to adapt our language to the child's language. The Canadian Centre for Child Protection's education program KidsInTheKnow.ca offers resources on online safety starting in grade 3 for children 8 years and older. However, we recommend that parents and caregivers begin supervision as soon as their children start using electronic devices. You can also establish Online Safety Habits at Home

• Set up privacy settings. Become familiar with and revisit parental controls on phones, laptops, computers, and tablets
• Supervise. The internet is a public place, so it's important to set the expectation that your child will be supervised online. To make this easier, encourage devise used in common areas of the home, and limit device use in bedrooms, bathrooms, or other private spaces
• Unplug. Establish times that devices are turned off - like during meals or overnight. Consider disabling WiFi overnight to avoid sleep disruptions and distractions.
• Support. Regularly remind your child know they can come to you if anything happens online that makes them feel uncomfortable or worried, and that they will not be in trouble - coming to you is the right thing to do because it is your job to keep them safe.
• Stay informed. Check out our resources available at Canada.ca/child-exploitation and visit protectkidsonline.ca for information about online interest, potential risks, and supports for ongoing safety discussions.
• Sign up for Cybertip.ca ALERTS to receive emails about concerning tech trends and supports.

Conversations about online safety should be on a regular basis. Be open to their digital world and show interest in what they are doing online. Let them know that you understand how things can go wrong online and that you want them to come to you so you can help them. Also, be proactive and check in with youth about unwanted and unsolicited sexual acts and behaviours online. Use role-playing with them to help them develop the skills they need to get out of difficult situations. The Canadian Centre for Child Protection has resources that can be used to facilitate conversations about online safety with youth. Their ProtectKidsOnline.ca website offers tips and discussion points for conversations. And their KidsInTheKnow.ca program offers lessons on online safety and healthy relationships.

It is also important to encourage an open and regular dialogue with your children in order to understand their online interactions and to make them feel comfortable communicating with you about things that may make them uncomfortable. It's easy to have a sense of security, since the child is in the family home and interaction with others is only online.  However, this sense of safety is false, as the risk and harm that a predators can cause online can be severe. Children and teens should be educated to only communicate with people they know offline. They should never share a picture of themselves without a parent's consent. They should never share personal information (i.e. full name, date of birth, school name, parents' names, siblings, home address, phone number, etc.). Predators can use this information to find the child's true location. The predator can also use this personal information to manipulate and lure the child.

Make sure your kids understand the dangers of adding or chatting with strangers online. Online predators will often coerce or manipulate young people online to exploit them, so it’s safer to add people that they know in real life. Help them set up their accounts by enabling privacy and security settings that can help keep them safe. If they add someone they don’t know by mistake, make sure your child knows they can turn to you if they receive unwanted messages or comments. You can also teach your child how to block users on their accounts. Encourage them to be cautious of what they decide to post online because people can take screenshots or screen recordings and use them to manipulate them. Social media is very public so it’s important that they don’t post personal information like their address, location, or phone number. Make sure that they are keeping their passwords safe, even from their friends, and that they should always feel safe to talk to you if something uncomfortable happens to them online. We recommend monitoring the apps that your kids use on their devices and adjusting the security settings on them to make sure that they are using them safely. Many video streaming apps (like YouTube, Netflix, etc.) have child protection settings on them to ensure that they are only viewing child appropriate content. Become familiar with parental controls on phones and tablets. Some devices allow parents to limit access to specific apps, social media sites, Internet content and features available within the device and most web browsers have settings that can be configured to block certain websites as well. For more information on what you can do to help protect your child from online dangers, visit protectkidsonline.ca. Visit Canada.ca/child-exploitation to learn what you and your child need to know about online child sexual exploitation.

Start a conversation with your child about using the internet safely by creating a safe space at home for them so they feel comfortable opening up to you. While you may understand the dangers of being online, your child may not, or think that it’s a game. Let them know what the repercussions could be when talking to strangers online while remaining calm and allowing your child to ask questions. Online predators are very knowledgeable and know where and how to connect with young people online. They know which social media and online gaming platforms kids are using to best reach them. Offenders will use a variety of techniques to manipulate children and young people by using coercive tactics to gain their trust.

Online predators can be extremely difficult to detect, so it’s important for you and your child to recognize the signs before it’s too late. Have an open and safe conversation with your child by giving them the facts and allowing them to ask questions. Encourage your child to avoid talking to strangers that they don’t know in real life while they’re online and to never send photographs or personal information (like their address, phone number, or passwords) to people over the internet. Let your child know they can go to you without judgement if someone online is demanding things that make them uncomfortable (including sending or receiving sexual content). Visit Canada.ca/child-exploitation and learn more on what you and your child need to know about online child sexual exploitation or visit protectkidsonline.ca where there are resources on what parents can do and what parents should talk to their child about.

Young teens at this stage begin experience deeper relationships with their peers online. It is important to have regular conversations with your child about using the internet safely by creating a safe space at home for them so they feel comfortable opening up to you. Let them know what the repercussions could be when talking to strangers online while remaining calm and allowing your child to ask questions. Online predators will often use coercive tactics to gain compliance and trust of children by pretending to be someone they are not, they befriend them, and this could lead to dangerous consequences. Try to avoid provoking your child by causing fear. If someone online is contacting them inappropriately, let them know that they are not to blame, and help remove your child from the situation. You can contact the police who can then assist you. You can also report any incidents to CyberTip.ca. We recommend monitoring the apps that your child uses and enabling security settings that could limit interactions with strangers online when possible. Visit protectkidsonline.ca where there are resources on what parents can do and what parents should talk to their child about.

This event was intended for parents and caregivers. For age appropriate content, please visit our website at Canada.ca/child-exploitation and/or Canada.ca/cyberbullying. The Canadian Centre for Child Protection and Kids Help Phone also offer resources and tools at protectkidsonline.ca and KidsHelpPhone.ca.

The Canadian Centre for Child Protection receives many reports from young people who have experienced a situation similar to what you’ve explained. Here are some initial steps you should take:

• Do not give in to demands. Don’t send  money or any more pictures/videos to the person extorting your son. Complying with demands in these situations can make things worse – they often demand more.
• Stop communicating with the individual. Ignore any attempts from the individual to communicate with your son or manipulate your son. Save a copy of any of messages they’ve sent threatening or demanding money or more pictures/videos. This can be a difficult but important step to take.
• Report it to Cybertip.ca or to the police.
• Check out our resources on online child sexual exploitation at Canada.ca/child-exploitation

Coercive tactics that are commonly used include: Romantic interest, forced teaming, guilt, pity, persistence, and threats. Individuals try to gain compliance of children and youth by befriending them under guise of relationships, gradually sexualize the relationship, ask for pictures, and increase contact frequency in private chat applications that have live chat features. These individuals also use deception and often misrepresent who they are.

Offenders are very knowledgeable and know where and how to connect with young people online – they know what social media and online gaming platforms they use frequently. Offenders use a variety of strategies in order to manipulate young people. For example, they could “groom” a child. Grooming is a situation when an offender engages in communications with a child to gradually develop a relationship, to establish trust and to normalize sexualized conversations. During the process, the offender may compliment the victim, give the victim lots of attention, affection, understanding, and offer gifts. The goal could be to commit online offences, such as to obtain sexual content from the child and/or engage in online sexual exploitation once trust has been established. Offenders may engage online with victims while appearing as an adult (themselves), or they may misrepresent themselves as a peer/young person. Offenders can also turn to sextortion. Sextortion is blackmail, when someone threatens to send an intimate/sexual image or video of someone to other people if the person doesn’t comply with demands. The demands are usually to provide more sexual content, or to provide money. This can sometimes begin with a seemingly innocent photo (e.g. in a bathing suit), but this can prompt requests (and threats) for more graphic and sexualized images. It is important for young people to be aware of the risks online, and the potential implications of sharing images. If they find themselves in a situation where they are being pressured to send intimate content, they need to reach out to a trusted adult. Youth must also be aware of what is considered normal adult behaviour. An adult should not be paying excessive attention to a young person, and offering inappropriate compliments or gifts. We encourage parents to learn more on online child sexual exploitation (check out our resources available at Canada.ca/child-exploitation as well as protectchildren.ca), and engage in age appropriate conversations with their children and youth, so they can also be on the lookout for inappropriate behaviour online.

In many situations, bystanders can be an important part of the solution. There are many different reasons for this, including:

• If you step in, other people are more likely to step in, too. Most young people disapprove of bullying — they’re just waiting for someone to take the first step to stopping it. Remember, you should only step in if it’s safe to do so.
• Sometimes teens are more likely to convince each other to stop bullying than adults are. Potentially, you can have a big impact on the situation just by speaking out.
• The more people who take a stand against bullying, the safer your school or community will be for everyone.

Here are some ways you can stop bullying when you see it:

• Speak up: while it isn’t easy, you can speak up during the harassment. You can say that a teacher is coming (even if it’s just a distraction), ask the person who is bullying to stop or encourage the people around you to leave with you.
• Provide an escape: approach the person who is experiencing the bullying and ask them if they’re OK. You can also invite them to leave with you.
• Speak to the person who is bullying: if it’s safe, you can speak to the person who is bullying in private. Let them know that it’s not OK.
• Tell someone: let a teacher, administrator or other safe adult know about what’s going on. If someone is being physically harmed, you can call the police or 911. Telling someone about the bullying can make everyone safer.
• Provide support: after the situation is over, make sure the person who is experiencing the bullying is OK by asking them how they’re doing or reminding them that it’s not their fault.

We have resources on cyberbullying at Canada.ca/cyberbullying.

Each situation is unique and the response to take action can be largely dependent on the circumstances. The most important thing to do is to listen to your child, and make sure that you’re maintaining a safe space for them to open up to you. Remain calm and let them know that it isn’t their fault if they’re being cyberbullied by a peer or someone online. If your child’s schoolboard has a parent teacher’s association or committee available, we recommend they check out the resources. There are also great resources available at Canada.ca/cyberbullying, KidsHelpPhone.ca and protectkidsonline.ca, so that educators, parents and caregivers are aware of the tools available to get help.

Given the global reach of the internet, these offences have no borders. Victims and offenders can often be located in different parts of the globe. As such, police agencies from around the world work very closely with one another to respond to these crimes. If it is suspected that a child is being cyberbullied or sexually exploited online, regardless of where the offender may be from, it is important to report to your local police. If it is determined that the offender is from another country, Canadian police agencies have mechanisms in place to liaise with police agencies from other countries to advance investigations that are international in scope.

If you suspect that a young person/your child has been potentially targeted, it is important to first determine if in fact they have been victimized, and to what extent. We encourage you to speak with the child about what may have happened, in a very comforting and supportive way. Victims may feel embarrassed and ashamed, and may be hesitant to disclose what happened. Maintain open communication and continue to reinforce the message that you are there to support them no matter what, and you can be trusted. Let them know it is not their fault, they are not in trouble, and that you just want to help them. If the young person does not disclose/does not report being targeted, follow your gut – if something seems off, consider asking others in your life/child’s life, and if they have noticed any changes in them. If the young person discloses that sexualized content of themselves has been distributed or posted online without their consent, it is important to report to your local police – they can assist with the searching of content online. NeedHelpNow.ca is a great resource that provides information to youth who have been negatively impacted by a sexual picture/video being shared by peers. The goal of the site is to offer practical steps to regain control over the situation. There are many other helpful resources available at protectchildren.ca and support can also be offered through Kids Help Phone (for both parents and children), to help you both navigate through these difficult situations.

It may be very upsetting and discouraging to be told that police are not able to respond. Each situation is unique and the response is largely dependent upon the circumstances and potential evidence. We encourage you to seek an explanation from the police as to why they can’t respond through legal course of action, and request suggestions for an alternate course of action. You are not alone, and have other avenues of support. We encourage you to seek support through the Kids Help Phone (for yourself and for the victim), or visit protectchildren.ca.

• It’s important to try and stay calm and collected, no matter what the young person tells you. Go slow, try to keep an open mind and take breaks if you or the young person needs to throughout the conversation. 
• Explore alternative solutions
• Remind the young person that they’re not alone and there is help available. Ask them what they are hoping will come out of your conversation. Are they looking for a solution or for you to just listen? You can offer to do some research with them, introduce them to a counselling resource like KidsHelpPhone.ca or support them in sharing this information with family. (Kids Help Phone’s Resources Around Me tool may be a good place to start looking for additional support.)

When a young person shares something with you, it’s always important to listen, be there and get help when you or the young person needs it.

Tip #1: Think ahead

Before opening a new account or sharing something online, think ahead to how the website or app will be used, and what your child is okay   with revealing to others. It’s important to remember that their personal information (e.g. name, phone number, address, school, birthday, etc.) can be used to identify them. Keep in mind that anything posted online can be distributed widely in seconds without their (or your) knowledge, consent or control. Visit MediaSmarts.ca to learn more.

Tip #2: Review  privacy settings

Do some research to learn more about privacy and security options for each website and app they’re using. Choose the settings that are best for your child. Some sites include reviewing your passwords, advertising preferences, and location sharing. You can also look up safety recommendations for avoiding spam, viruses and bots.

Tip #3: Know your options

The Internet can sometimes be a place for negativity, exploitation, cyberbullying, abuse, racism and more. If someone is doing something your child is not OK with, know that you can take action. Find out how to block, ignore and/or report people who do or say anything that crosses your boundaries and/or affects their well-being. If your child is threatened online and  worried about their safety, it’s important to get help right away. Children should know they can tell a safe adult and/or contact the emergency services in your area. You can also report abuse to the website, app, etc. where the behaviour’s happening. You can learn more about what to do by visiting TechWithoutViolence.ca.

When an offence has been committed, all evidence and all circumstances of the offence are taken into consideration. This includes the vulnerabilities of the youth, and their capacity to make sound decisions at the time of the offence. If the youth has a disability that would impede their ability to make a sound decision, that would be taken into consideration. In addition, if the youth was manipulated or coerced, that would also be taken into consideration and, depending on the facts, could generate a criminal investigation against the manipulator.