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Module 2: Gender-based violence and you

Introduction

Gender-based violence (GBV) can be a tough thing to discuss — but talking openly about GBV helps raise awareness about the issue and reduces its stigma. This can help break the cycle and promote a safer, more compassionate society in which violence is prevented before it ever happens.

Plus, if GBV has impacted you or you have witnessed it, sharing your experiences with others who can offer support, or offering support and empathy to others, can be an important part of the healing process.

In this module, we’ll explore how to talk about GBV with your friends and family. We’ll also talk about an important concept called intersectionality, which can determine how someone may be affected if they are subjected to GBV themselves.


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Before you begin

While talking about GBV can be important for healing and raising awareness, it's also essential to protect yourself and be mindful of your personal triggers. Triggers are anything that might cause a person to recall a traumatic experience they've had. For example, graphic images of violence might be a trigger for some people. Less obvious things, including songs, odours, or even colours, can also be triggers, depending on someone's experience.

If anything in this module triggers you, it's okay to take a step back and focus on your personal safety and well-being. Seek out resources if needed, or try self-care strategies like exercise, meditation, or spending time with loved ones to help you feel more grounded and in control.

Need someone to talk to?

You can find a list of cross-Canada resources, including hotlines, counselling services and support groups for youth on the youth-based resources database.

Not sure what a term means? A GBV glossary is available.

Remember: GBV is never your fault. People and resources are available to help you.

Section 1: Talking about GBV

What is healthy communication?

Healthy communication is not just about talking. It’s a two-way street that involves listening, being respectful, and discussing difficult topics without insulting or hurting each other. It’s not about anyone getting their way but being there to support each other.

8 tips for healthier communication

1. Use "I statements." Say things like, "I feel upset when you ___" instead of, "You're making me upset." Steer clear of blaming or accusing them of purposely trying to hurt you.

2. Be clear and direct. No one can read your mind, so tell them what you think, feel, and need.

3. Don’t push aside your feelings. Bring up things that bother you early, so they don't build up and become bigger problems.

4. Build trust. Unless someone has given you a reason not to, believing that they’re telling you the truth and assuming that they mean well helps establish trust.

5. Ask questions. Ask questions if you don't understand what they're saying or why. Don't make assumptions.

6.. Talk in-person. It's really easy to misunderstand or misinterpret a text message or email. Talking in person or through video chat allows you to hear their tone of voice and see their body language.

7. Don’t yell. Getting angry or defensive during an argument is totally normal. But if you’re feeling upset or angry, take a break until you both cool off.

8. Be willing to apologize. Everyone makes mistakes. Saying you’re sorry (and meaning it) goes a long way in helping to move on after a fight.

Starting the conversation

Conversations around gender-based violence can be challenging for everyone involved. Before starting a conversation, it is important to be self-aware and consider your well-being and safety, physically and emotionally.

“Don’t hesitate to set boundaries for yourself. You only have to share what you feel comfortable sharing.”

Niko C.

Youth Leader

Before you start

During the conversation

After talking about GBV

Remember, staying grounded during the conversation is vital not only for your own well-being but also to ensure that the discussion remains respectful and productive. By taking care of yourself, you can approach the conversation with compassion and understanding.

5 ways to cool down from difficult conversations

1. Do a quick stress reliever

2. Feel and vent your emotions

3. Pamper yourself for free

4. Take a mindful minute

5. Focus on positives and your strengths to stay hopeful

Activity 1: Mapping your strengths

Understanding yourself and your strengths helps you create meaningful relationships with the people around you by making you more authentic and self-aware in your interactions with others. Plus, it can empower you to have meaningful, informed, and empathetic conversations about gender-based violence, contributing to a safer and more equal society for everyone.

Creating a map is one way you can identify your strengths and abilities — and maybe even find some you’ve never thought about! To start:

  1. Write your name in the middle of the page
  2. Create categories
  3.  After creating your categories, brainstorm some of the personal qualities associated with those aspects of your life — for example, if you put “create art” under Things I Do, maybe that says you’re a creative person
Prompts: Things I do, things I am proud of, things I do to help others, roles I play, things I’m a part of, things I like about my personality.

Being an ally to someone in need

It can be tough to know or think someone you care about is in an unhealthy or abusive relationship. You may be worried about their safety and want to help them get out of the situation. But it's important to remember that every person has the right to make their own decisions — including ones that may be bad for them.

Here are some things you can do to help a friend or family member who may be affected by GBV.

Remember: Always consider your safety when helping someone subjected to GBV. If you think a situation may be dangerous or put you at risk, ask for help.

Activity 2: Reflecting on your relationships

After reviewing the information above and the glossary for unfamiliar terms, reflect on the relationships in your life and the way people talk about them. Ask yourself:

Section 2: Identity, power and privilege

What is intersectionality?

Intersectionality 101 video

Every person’s identity is made up of many different parts — some we’re born with, like our date of birth or race, and some we develop over time, like our language, skills and abilities. Some parts of our identities are visible, like the way you look, while other parts, like your values and beliefs, are invisible.

When we talk about intersectionality, we’re looking at the way all these different parts of our identity overlap or intersect, and how that changes the way we experience the world.

For example, imagine you have two friends, Omar and Caroline. Caroline is a 15-year-old Caucasian girl living in a big city, while Omar, also 15, is Black and lives in a small town. Because they’re both 15, Omar and Caroline have a lot in common — but they also have a lot that makes them different. As a girl, Caroline has dealt with gender stereotypes her whole life, which Omar has not. As a person of colour, Omar has experienced discrimination based on his skin, which Caroline has not. And as someone from a small town, Omar has faced different challenges, like having limited resources, that Caroline hasn’t.

Now, imagine if Caroline and Omar have more differences. Maybe Omar has a physical disability, and Caroline is gay. These additional parts of their identities make their experiences even more unique from each other, even though they’re both 15 with similar hobbies and interests.

Intersectionality helps us understand that people's lives and experiences are shaped by every part of their identity. It reminds us that everyone is more than just one thing, and we should consider all the pieces that make up who they are when thinking about their feelings, experiences, and needs.

How is intersectionality related to GBV?

Gender-based violence affects everyone — but it doesn’t affect everyone equally. Women, girls, and gender-diverse people are at higher risk of being affected by GBV. But if they are also part of any of the groups below, they may face GBV more often or differently than some of their peers.

When it comes to GBV, intersectionality reminds us that not everyone's experiences are the same. Some people might face extra difficulties because of how the different parts of identity overlap. It's essential to consider all the possible parts of someone’s identity when we talk about issues like violence and treat everyone with fairness and respect.

What is privilege?

We know from Module 1 that power is not always equal. The systems and biases in our society can cause some people to have privileges that others do not have. People with privilege may have an easier time finding a job or housing, or may be less likely to face gender-based violence.

Privilege can be hard to recognize when you’re on the receiving end. When you’re used to having certain advantages, they may not stand out to you because they’re part of your everyday experience. Learning to recognize privilege takes self-reflection, empathy and a willingness to listen to the experiences of others.

When we think about intersectionality, we must also think about the advantages we might have and the unfairness that exists in the world. It's essential to use our advantages to help others and to stand against the unfair systems that allow gender-based violence to happen.

Activity 3: Your Identity Wheel

Before starting this activity, read the section above and watch this video to learn more about intersectionality and how it relates to gender-based violence. Then, brainstorm some of your visible and invisible identities.

Complete the Identity Wheel using your identities. Remember: you only have to share what you feel comfortable sharing! If you’re not sure about any of the terms on the Wheel, check out information below for further explanation.

Filling out your Identity Wheel

Below are several examples of the terms included in the Identity Wheel. This is not an exhaustive list, and you can choose more than one identity for each factor. Feel free to use your own wording when creating your Identity Wheel!

External Factors

Home situation

What type of housing do you live in?

Citizenship and immigration status

Citizenship refers to the country where the person has citizenship. A person may have more than one citizenship. Immigration status refers to whether the person is a non-immigrant, an immigrant, or a non-permanent resident.

Geographic location

What type of location do you live in?

Education level

What grade are you in? Did you skip or redo a year? What space are you accessing for education?

Relationship status

Are you currently romantically involved with someone?

Family environment

Who lives with you? Who is your support system?

Physical appearance

Here, you can describe yourself physically.

Personal Factors

Race

What racial groups do you identify with?

Ethnicity, heritage, and culture

What is your ethnicity, heritage, and cultural background?

Class and economic situation

What is your family’s economic situation?

Gender identity

How do you identify? It’s okay if you are not sure how to identify; your identity can also change over time.

Romantic and Sexual Orientation

Who are you attracted to and want to have relationships with?

Age

Please insert your age.

Faith, Beliefs, Values and Ideologies

What faith, religion, or spirituality, if any, do you practise? What values are the most important for you?

Physical and Developmental (Dis)ability

Developmental disabilities are a group of conditions due to an impairment in physical, learning, language, or behaviour areas.

A physical disability is a limitation on a person's physical function, mobility, agility, or endurance.

There are four main types of developmental disorders:

Mental and Emotional (Dis)ability

A disability that impacts a person's ability to effectively recognize, interpret, control, and express fundamental emotions, for example:

First and other languages

What is the language you use the most in general? What is your first language? What language do you speak the most with your community?

Nationality and birthplace

What is your nationality? Where were you born?

Activity 4: Reflecting on your identity

After creating your own Identity Wheel, take time to reflect on it by answering the following questions. This is an individual exercise in which you may want to reflect on personal aspects of yourself and your life. Please don’t feel pressured to share the answers of this exercise with others.

  1. What identities are you most aware of or think about most often?
  2. What identities are you least aware of or do you think about least often?
  3. Which of your own identities would you like to learn more about?
  4. Which identities have the most impact on how you perceive yourself?
  5. Which identities have the most impact on how others perceive you?
  6. Why is it important to reflect on our identities?
  7. How do our identities give or take away power and privilege in society?
  8. How do your identities influence your sense of belonging at work/home/school or in the communities that you are part of?
  9. How can different identities be used in allyship with one another? 

Where can I find support?

If you are experiencing gender-based violence, you are not alone. Support is available, whether you just want someone to talk to or need help getting out of an unsafe situation. Get help now.

Further reading and resources

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2025-05-15