ARCHIVED - Dating Violence - Say NO!


What is Dating Violence?

Dating violence is any intentional psychological, physical or sexual attack on one partner by the other in a dating relationship. Dating violence is ABUSE. Someone who does something to you or acts in a way that makes you feel afraid or bad about yourself does not love you. Abusive behaviour is wrong and you do not have to live feeling afraid or sad. ABUSE is not about something that you have done or something you deserve. No one asks to be hurt and you are not responsible for someone else's words or actions. Each person is responsible for their words, actions and control of their own body. No one has the right to force another person to do something that they don't want to do or that makes them feel uncomfortable. You have the right to stand up for yourself and you have the right to say NO at any time.

Warning Signs

Are you or do you know someone that is going out with a person who...?

  • is jealous, possessive, checks up on you or won't accept breaking up?
  • tries to control you by being bossy, making all the decisions, has to have it his/her way all the time?
  • screams, yells, puts you down in front of your friends, tells you that you are stupid or ugly? scares you, makes you wonder if you have done something wrong to make him/her react like this?
  • is violent, grabs, hits, pushes, or shoves you?
  • brags about mistreating others, loses his/her temper easily, has a history of fighting? pressures you for sex or tries to force you into having sex?
  • has a history of bad relationships and blames the other person?
  • abuses alcohol or drugs and pressures you to take them as well?
  • makes your friends and family afraid for your safety?

If you can answer YES to any of these questions, this is Dating Violence .

What to do if you want the Abuse to Stop

  • Talk to someone that you trust: Friend, Family member, Teacher, School Counselor, Clergy
  • Call the police (911) Community Services
  • Call the Kids Help Phone toll free at 1-800-668-6868

You are NOT alone. Someone will listen and will help you.

  • Write a letter to someone that you trust describing what is happening to you and how you are feeling. Give it to them.
  • Keep a daily diary or journal about what has happened and how you feel about it.
  • Do not meet your partner alone. Do not let your partner into your house or get into a car with him/her when you are alone.
  • Avoid being alone at school, at work or when walking to and from places.
  • Tell someone where you are going.
  • Think and plan what you would do if your partner became physically abusive.

How to be a Friend

  • If you notice that a friend is in an abusive relationship, talk to them about it. Don't ignore the signs and think that it will go away.
  • If a friend wants to talk to you, listen. It's okay to express your concerns and be afraid for your friend. Support them, don't judge.
  • Point out your friend's qualities and good points. Most people who are being abused think that they are bad or they caused the abuse.
  • Encourage your friend to seek help from a trusted adult. Don't make the decision for them, this is their choice.
  • Call the police or tell an adult if you witness your friend being slapped, hit, hurt or any other type of assault.

You are not responsible for stopping the abuse or protecting your friend, but you can be there to listen and suggest other ideas to him/her.

National Clearinghouse on Family Violence
Tel: 1-800-267-1291 or 613-957-2938
TTY: 1-800-561-5643 or 613-952-6396
Fax: (613) 941-8930

Say NO !

© 2007 Her Majesty the Queen in Right of Canada
Cat. no.: PS64-18/2007
ISBN: 978-0-662-69758-9

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