Scenario: I Said No

Group Size: 4-15

Scenario

You meet a friend from your unit for coffee, and you ask about how their new relationship is going. They tell you “Not great” and that they want to end the relationship. When you ask why, they tell you that last night their partner begged and pleaded for sex even though they had explicitly and repeatedly told them no. Your friend then describes being sexually assaulted by their partner. Your friend is not sure what to do, they are confused because everything happened so quickly.

Categories

• Principles: Respect the Dignity of all Persons
• Values: Integrity, Courage
• Cultural themes: Service, Leadership
• Misconduct types: Sexual Misconduct
• GBA Plus themes: Not Specific
• Audience: Defence Team

Facilitator’s Guide

Learning Objectives

• Understand the negative impacts of sexual misconduct.
• Determine steps to support persons affected by sexual misconduct.

Facilitation Questions

1. Note to facilitators, consider changing the genders in the scenario and discuss what impact (if any) this might have on participants' perception of this scenario and support for the affected person.
2. How might you support your friend in this scenario?
   Note to facilitators, consult the First Contact Support Tool (information on how to handle a disclosure) for more details.
   • Ask about the safety of the affected person. Suggest seeking medical attention if necessary.
   • Ask them how they feel. Remind them that you are there to listen. Don't ask for details of what happened.
   • Validate their experience, avoid making promises, do not tell them what they “should have done differently”; what happened is not their fault: the person who commits the aggression is responsible.
   • It is important to recognize your own limitations and your own emotional reactions to this type of disclosure.
   • Ask if they require any outside support or services such as the Sexual Misconduct Response Centre (SMRC), CAF Health Services Centres or the Respect in the CAF App. 
3. What are the impacts of this situation on your friend and those around them?
   • Consider the emotional and physical impacts on your friend such as guilt, fatigue, insomnia, mood swings, anxiety, confusion, withdrawal, deterioration of social relationships, reduced productivity at work, etc.
   • Consider the impacts on those around them, their family, their friends, and their loved ones such as isolation, reduced confidence, frustration, etc.
   • If nothing is done to address sexual misconduct, it risks recurring.